Last year was a pretty tough one indeed. The first six months of the year I treated myself to a $1000/wk crack habit, the later half, about a case of beer a day while using plenty of women for my own pleasure not thinking about their feelings.
On January third while coming down from a 3 day meth runner I started looking at websites that may help out because I was very much tired of the insanity and wanted to just give up. After 24 years of the same behaviors, failed relationships, financial irresponsibility, 2 rehabs, countless AA meetings and therapists who didn’t seem to help much I was tired of it. I just couldn’t do it anymore. Alternative methods for recovery were what I searched on and it was found. SMART.
After reading about REBT I next did a search on that and found 20 pages of results which I read meticulously or at least the best I could, considering I’d been up for a few days. I even read the papers on Dr. Ellis’s website which were a bit tough to comprehend but it all made sense. In a nutshell,”I” could change myself, my beliefs and the consequences that were always the same up to that point
(get messed up).
There is not one aspect of my life that has not been touched by that Internet search made almost two months ago and I am very grateful.
The next day after I had gotten some sleep I began the process of change using tools found on the SMART website inevitably altering my entire life. I read the materials, printed out worksheets, wrote out my first CBA and attended an online meeting. In accordance with the recommendations of other people using SMART I learned how to use the ABC process which was by far the largest beneficial factor in maintaining my sobriety the first few weeks. To actually examine my own beliefs, recognize the fact that they are, in many cases, ridiculous and create a healthier outcome via this examination process is incredible.
I have also made many friends whom I talk to using the online message boards offering thoughts and advice and in return receive the same respect and help. Today my life is much different in part to what I’ve learned through this process but most of all because I’ve learned that “I” am the one that makes my decisions.
There is not one aspect of my life that has not been touched by that Internet search made almost two months ago and I am very grateful. It is not an easy process and has not solved every problem I’ve created over the years but in time those problems too will be gone since I now have time to work on them.