How Science and Kindness Help People Change
Roxanne A., SMART Recovery Meeting Facilitator
“Things get better with CRAFT. Families feel better, substance use often decreases, and people with substance problems usually enter treatment when a family member uses CRAFT.” ~Beyond Addiction
There is a much better option for families than using “tough love” with a Loved One (LO) who has substance problems. Contrary to commonly quoted suggestions for families to “practice tough love”, “detach with love”, and “let them hit bottom”, families can learn a more effective way to interact with their LO. It has been found in clinical studies that families using CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training), are twice as likely to influence their LO to seek treatment for addictions than if they used a confrontative Johnson-style intervention.
Dr. Robert J. Meyers, Ph.D. first introduced CRAFT to the public ten years ago in his ground-breaking book Get Your Loved One Sober – Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading and Threatening which is used as a resource in the SMART Recovery Family & Friends program.
In their much anticipated new book, Beyond Addiction – How Science and Kindness Help People Change, senior staff members Jeffrey Foote, Ph.D., Carrie Wilkins, Ph.D. and Nicole Kosanke, Ph.D. from the Center for Motivation and Change in New York City, offer a message of hope and how-tos in this clearly written guide for families wishing to learn CRAFT techniques.
- “Things get better with CRAFT. Families feel better, substance use often decreases, and people with substance problems usually enter treatment when a family member uses CRAFT.” ~Beyond Addiction
This well organized guide for families begins by describing the nature of addiction, explaining how people change and why. Subsequent chapters are devoted to explaining how families can make changes that will improve their own sense of well being while at the same time creating an environment that truly supports recovery for their LO in a meaningful and helpful way. The topics of self-care, setting goals, positive communication, allowing natural consequences and reinforcing “good” behaviors are key concepts. An excellent chapter discussing treatment options is included to help families make choices that are most appropriate given their unique needs.
Throughout the book, CRAFT strategies are clearly explained, numerous realistic examples are provided, and exercises designed to build awareness and develop personal strategies enhance the learning process.
The authors of Beyond Addiction have written an excellent book, sharing the benefit of their many years of experience using CRAFT, and the science of change, to help families learn how to help their LOs want to change.
His first book about CRAFT, “Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening”, was pivotal to the sanity in my life. The program developed in SMARTrecovery.org, that based many of its teaching via the CRAFT concept was my welcomed Monday night excursion to a place where I knew no one would question why I was with him, nor just tell me to let him be. I know my loved one’s bottom is death, and I refuse to sit by and watch (or worse yet push) him to that bottom.
Through the teachings of CRAFT, I was able to make the sober side greener, a place where he wanted to stay. I also felt better about myself. I hated nagging, pleading and threatening.
I look forward to reading this new book.
I am just beginning the process of researching recovery methods for my husband. Your post perfectly mirrored my own thoughts…my husband’s bottom is death and I won’t push him to the bottom by withdrawing my support.
I see your post was 4 years ago. Would you be willing to share if this method was successful in your loved one’s recovery?
Thank you and all the best.
It’s almost three years past your post and request, but I’ll respond for myself.
I’m only up to page 225, but it has helped me already, along with a lot of other research, the Smart Recovery website tools, conference call meetings, and conversations with others.
My main takeaway is to not dehumanize the person with a substance abuse problem. Beyond Addiction has helped me deal with myself as well as my family member struggling with alcohol dependency.
I highly recommend it.
I’m new to the community and I’ll like to join forum but not permitting me
I’d like to join try forums and blogs, but it is saying I don’t have permission to join them. I’ve created an account and I’m able to join the zoom meetings. Can you help please?
Thank you.
I am having the same problem.
I understand you have an online intro meeting at 10:00. Please provide info to attend.
Hello Andrea,
Thank you for asking.
You can find local in-person/online meetings by searching https://meetings.smartrecovery.org/meetings or the online community at https://community.smartrecovery.org/community
I’m new and cannot access any pages or groups for classes