Results 1 to 21 of 21
Share this SMART Recovery Success Story!
  1. #1
    HeidiM's Avatar
    HeidiM is online now SMART Online Facilitator
    SMART MB Volunteer
    SMART Chat Volunteer
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Dayton Ohio
    Posts
    1,405

    Default Unexpected Benefits of Being Sober

    I've been sober and active in SMART for 5 years. One of the things that I have learned is that I often find "unexpected benefits" to my decision to move into recovery.

    Recently, my daughter had an infection that went septic and she was in the hospital for 3 days. We were very worried about her as her fever went up and down. Fortunately, the sepsis was in an early stage and the antibiotics worked. That's the really terrific news: she's better and we are home again.


    When you are in the hospital (I stayed with her), there is a lot of time for thinking and I realized that I was experiencing some unexpected benefits of sobriety.

    Here's my story:

    1) when my daughter woke me early on Wed. morning to say that she was in a lot of pain, I was sober. I wasn't hungover. I was able to concentrate and think of how to help her.

    2) When I took her to the doctor's at 11, I was sober. I hadn't been sneaking drinks. I could drive. I wasn't hungover. I could focus.

    3) When the doctor was unclear about whether to take her to the ER or not, I was able to ask her questions. I was clear headed.

    4) When my "gut" told me that something was really wrong, I was able to drive her to the ER because I had not been drinking. My daughter was in a great deal of pain and out of it. I was able to interact with the medical personel in a proactive way.

    5) When she was admitted to the hospital, I was able to stay with her. I wasn't secretly wanting to go home so that I could start my drinking. I wasn't secretly sneaking wine into water bottles and sipping it, hoping no one would notice.

    6) I was sober and alert when my daughter's condition worsened that night in the hospital (good thing I was able to be there - because I was sober).

    7) As she got better, I was able to stay with her. I wasn't trying to get home so that I could start drinking. I wasn't sneakng drinks. I was WITH her.

    8) When she got discharged from the hospital tonight, I was sober. I could drive her home. I could pick up her medicine. I was so glad for us to be back home and that was a pure joy. It wasn't sullied by the desire for a drink.

    I was sober. I was sober. I was sober.

    Unexpected benefits.

    Heidi
    "I dwell in possibility" Emily Dickinson

  2. #2

    Default

    Thank you Heidi for sharing your experience with us. I am so happy to hear your daughter is OK.

    I've often thought about my mom's health and my ability to react when something (inevitably) goes wrong. Being there for a loved one is an important, crucial benefit. Thank you again.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    1,576

    Default

    Heidi, I am very happy for you...but of course you have my prayers regarding your daughter.

    It is astounding how much we used to let our unhealthy behaviors keep us from actively participating with our loved ones and even in our very lives.

    What a great feeling of gratitude you have expressed here! I am sure your daughter was grateful for your complete presence as well.

    Thank you for being an active participant on SROL so I and countless others can learn from you!

    Be well.

    “Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in her”


  4. #4
    HeidiM's Avatar
    HeidiM is online now SMART Online Facilitator
    SMART MB Volunteer
    SMART Chat Volunteer
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Dayton Ohio
    Posts
    1,405

    Default

    J-La: being able to be there when our loved ones need us is something we all want. I feel very fortunate that I found SMART and recovery when I did. Thanks.

    LobsterTank: I know that you have family health issues going on right now as well and I especially appreciate your kind words. Thanks.
    "I dwell in possibility" Emily Dickinson

  5. #5
    HughK's Avatar
    HughK is online now SMART Online Facilitator
    SMART Face to Face Facilitator
    SMART MB Volunteer
    SMART Online Facilitator's Co-Liaison
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    3,462

    Default

    Wonderful Heidi

    Sorry that your daughter went through that, but very glad she is OK now.

    Heart warming benefits
    What got me sober was trying to get sober. Every time I lapsed, picked up, drank, I was thoroughly beaten. I thought at those times "there is no hope for me" Yet, when I had recovered from those thoughts just a little, I thought "have another go!" It was a lot of little sparks, rather than a flame, that got me here.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    242

    Default

    Good on you Heidi. We can actually experience our lives when we are sober. We sleepwalk through it when we are drunk.

  7. #7

    Default I feel ya

    Quote Originally Posted by HeidiM View Post
    I've been sober and active in SMART for 5 years. One of the things that I have learned is that I often find "unexpected benefits" to my decision to move into recovery.

    Recently, my daughter had an infection that went septic and she was in the hospital for 3 days. We were very worried about her as her fever went up and down. Fortunately, the sepsis was in an early stage and the antibiotics worked. That's the really terrific news: she's better and we are home again.


    When you are in the hospital (I stayed with her), there is a lot of time for thinking and I realized that I was experiencing some unexpected benefits of sobriety.

    Here's my story:

    1) when my daughter woke me early on Wed. morning to say that she was in a lot of pain, I was sober. I wasn't hungover. I was able to concentrate and think of how to help her.

    2) When I took her to the doctor's at 11, I was sober. I hadn't been sneaking drinks. I could drive. I wasn't hungover. I could focus.

    3) When the doctor was unclear about whether to take her to the ER or not, I was able to ask her questions. I was clear headed.

    4) When my "gut" told me that something was really wrong, I was able to drive her to the ER because I had not been drinking. My daughter was in a great deal of pain and out of it. I was able to interact with the medical personel in a proactive way.

    5) When she was admitted to the hospital, I was able to stay with her. I wasn't secretly wanting to go home so that I could start my drinking. I wasn't secretly sneaking wine into water bottles and sipping it, hoping no one would notice.

    6) I was sober and alert when my daughter's condition worsened that night in the hospital (good thing I was able to be there - because I was sober).

    7) As she got better, I was able to stay with her. I wasn't trying to get home so that I could start drinking. I wasn't sneakng drinks. I was WITH her.

    8) When she got discharged from the hospital tonight, I was sober. I could drive her home. I could pick up her medicine. I was so glad for us to be back home and that was a pure joy. It wasn't sullied by the desire for a drink.

    I was sober. I was sober. I was sober.

    Unexpected benefits.

    Heidi
    The last time I saw my mom she asked me to stay longer in the hospital but I told her I had to go because I had my drugs in the car waiting for me and I just didn't want to bother with it I will always always always regret that
    Last edited by HughK; August 3, 2017 at 8:28 PM. Reason: Removed duplication

  8. #8
    HeidiM's Avatar
    HeidiM is online now SMART Online Facilitator
    SMART MB Volunteer
    SMART Chat Volunteer
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Dayton Ohio
    Posts
    1,405

    Default

    Desuro, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you can be kind to yourself about it. You made a mistake but we are all human and we all make mistakes at times. Take care.
    "I dwell in possibility" Emily Dickinson

  9. #9
    HughK's Avatar
    HughK is online now SMART Online Facilitator
    SMART Face to Face Facilitator
    SMART MB Volunteer
    SMART Online Facilitator's Co-Liaison
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    3,462

    Default

    Well said Heidi.

    It is a common aspect of Addictive Behaviour - was for me.

    At least you are here Desuro, in, and seeking, ACTIVE recovery

    Heidi gave us all an insight into the possibilities of that
    What got me sober was trying to get sober. Every time I lapsed, picked up, drank, I was thoroughly beaten. I thought at those times "there is no hope for me" Yet, when I had recovered from those thoughts just a little, I thought "have another go!" It was a lot of little sparks, rather than a flame, that got me here.

  10. #10

    Default

    Heidi, thank you for this reminder of the unexpected benefits of sobriety. I sometimes find myself slipping into thoughts like, "Well, it wouldn't REALLY affect my family if I picked up again..." That is FALSE. Thanks for sharing your experience, and I hope your daughter is on the mend.
    Every warrior has her kryptonite. Alcohol is mine.

  11. #11

    Default

    Heidi, this is really inspiring. I think your approach to sobriety- what you CAN do now that you're sober, not what you CAN'T do (drink!)- is one that will help me maintain my own motivation, as the urges sneak back on me. And those urges are really sneaky!
    Thank you again.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    7

    Default

    Love this. thanks for the inspiration!

  13. #13

    Default

    That's awesome. Good for you and keep up the good work!

  14. #14

    Default

    Thank you Heidi for sharing that post. I am sorry your daughter isn't feeling well, my prayers are with you for a full and speedy recovery. It's amazing how we ever got through simple things before, glad you have peace of mind and the ability to participate fully in your daughter's healthcare...take care.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    24

    Default

    Great post and comments. Thanks to the ones that have been here a long time. It's encouraging.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2

    Default

    I am really glad your daughter is doing better! I totally know what you mean about the unexpected benefits of sobriety. I recently spent a week at the lake with my family and because I am sober now I wasn't constantly thinking about sneaking off to go smoke weed or being excited to leave so I could go home to my bong. I was fully able to be present, honest and open with my family.

  17. #17

    Default

    Great post, and glad to hear everything is fine with your daughter. I haven't had anything as dramatic as a hospital visit, but I have had similar experiences. Starting to drink as soon I got home from work and then having to come up with an excuse for why I don't want to meet my wife or friends (because I am already to drunk to drive anywhere).

  18. #18

    Default

    thank you for the story, it really is helpful to have support. I wish there were three or a few in NW Ark to have a casual meeting.
    thanks again

  19. #19

    Default

    hanging tough

  20. #20

    Default

    Dependability is definitely an unexpected benefit for me. I had a relative with an emergency situation that came up on a Saturday nite. I answered the phone and said I would be right there. after I hang up I thought.... man, good thing I can drive right now... what would have happened if I couldn't get there.

  21. #21
    HeidiM's Avatar
    HeidiM is online now SMART Online Facilitator
    SMART MB Volunteer
    SMART Chat Volunteer
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Dayton Ohio
    Posts
    1,405

    Default

    I'm really glad that you could be there for your relative as well. I hope everything is okay now. Take care.
    "I dwell in possibility" Emily Dickinson

Share this SMART Recovery Success Story!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •