Two Years getting SMART

[LobsterTank]

Here it is. 2 years...24 months...730 days...17,520 hours...1,051,200 minutes.

I am a bit under the weather (allergies); a bit sleep deprived; a bit overworked; a bit stressed about bills, marriage, and my MIL...not to mention almost 50 years old and I had an urge last night.

Lol! Uck!

That sounds terrible! Hardly sounds worth it, does it?

On the contrary! It has been worth the entire world to me.



I have tried to greet each of those 1,051,200 minutes as the fleeting, expiring, once in a lifetime moments that they are.

Over these past 2 years:

-I have gone to bed sober 730 times.
-I have resisted urges hundreds of times
-I have disputed and changed dozens of irrational beliefs
-I have learned to tolerate discomfort and sometimes embrace it
-I have developed many healthy responses to the events of life
-I found a way to live my life outside of the bottle
-I maintain a general sense of self-satisfaction and -respect

How did all of that happen?

I sat with discomfort. I used the tools. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute; I sought to live the life I aspired to live and to be the person I wished to become.

...NO MATTER WHAT...

I embraced the occasional chaos of change.
I kept what worked, I got rid of what didn't.
I accepted life on its terms and forgave myself for being human.
I made mistakes.
I got back up...

...NO MATTER WHAT...

...and then waited for the next moment, excited to see what it had in store for me.

I found happiness where I expected none. I found strength where I thought only weakness lay. I found excitement and anticipation where fear had once dwelt. I found peace in moments of pain.

I gave up that old *********** lie that successful abstinence would lead to a happy, peaceful, perfect life with a perfect me at its perfect core.

Now I live the life in front of me with all of its ups and downs, twists and turns, bruised elbows and scraped knees.

For THIS is what a successful abstinence looks like in my life.



“Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.” — Bruce Lee

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” — George Bernard Shaw

“The only journey is the journey within.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

“They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.” – Confucius

“We must become the change we want to see.” — Mahatma Gandhi

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” — Aristotle

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“What we think, we become.” – Buddha

“What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill


Have a great day or at least a crappy sober one!

[annanz]

Powerful and very encouraging stuff LT.

[komoto]

Congrats LobsterTank. I get alot out of your post.

[Gentoo]

LobsterTank,

You are awesome!

Congrats and warm wishes,
Gentoo

[mh_logic]

A huge congratulations to you, LobsterTank! So great to see you crushing this day in and day out. You give hope to so many of us. Keep up the amazing work!

[IndianaBrent]

Fantastic, LobsterTank! Thank you for sharing your time and experience as a volunteer with the SMART community.

[FireDancer]

Congratulation LobsterTank! I am so happy for you

[JoanofArc]

Congratulations, LT! You inspired me SO much when I began this journey 14 months ago. Thanks for all you do, and congrats on your new life!

[mhkc]

If it was easy, every body have it down pat!!!

[LobsterTank]

LOL, that's very true, mhkc!

[Peg1960]

Congrats LobsterTank,Well done!

[jtoy]

Congratulations, Lobster Tank!

[mhkc]

Yes lobster.. I have used REBT to get a lot of areas better. Guess what? It feels like hard work everyday though. The best headache I've given Myself is rebt. Would I like a better life? Yes. That's why I'm here. Will I always wantca better life? Most likely. Why keep using rational beliefs, hearing how others do this? Because I can see how others process. I can also see the dangers. I've seen a lot about what limits are legit. That's where I'm currently "working" .. trying to accept limits in life, that total freedom in pure sense, isn't really here in this life. Pressing for more freedom Sometimes, may sound all dignified yippy yippy, but the cost is not worth the reward. I don't like that. But it's what I experience. I have to apply tools there in my heart.

[coxswain]

A belated congrats Lobster on your two years! Thanks for the thoughtful and inspiring post.

[Want2BFree2017]

LobsterTank,
Congratulations! You are truly my inspiration as this is my first day on this site. Thanks for sharing!

[mhkc]

Welcom Want 2 b free... ! How did you hear about smart and what landed you here? Glad to meet you

[LobsterTank]

Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read my post and leaving your own wonderful comments.

SMART helped me change my life and continues to help me live it and I am so honored to be one of you and humbled by your own struggles, triumphs, and success stories.

Be well.

[mhkc]

VEry cool to hear this, I too tend to keep tabs on the other peers I've met, and how I have been influenced as such.. Really cool hearing the gratitude in you...as I embark on my own SMB recovery work, I am too, also, glad for a community to assist in dealing with defining success and progress

[Gordon1]

Congratulations LobsterTank!!

What a wonderful, sensational, fantastic thing!

You bring light and life to this place.

"I gave up that old *********** lie that successful abstinence would lead to a happy, peaceful, perfect life with a perfect me at its perfect core."

Hahahahahahaha

Not perfect.
Just possible, as you have shown.
Oh yes, and worth it

[LobsterTank]

Hugh Thank you!

[mhkc]

I noticed that too : " gave up that old *********** lie that successful abstinence would lead to a happy, peaceful, perfect life with a perfect me at its perfect core.".. I hope that gets the attention of leadership, and increases the depth of reach of humanistic appreciation. In all the gains I've noticed in my own life borrowing smart tools for... I hope smart evolves, doesn't stagnate. As well as my own self RESPONSIBILITY , to direct myself. Yes with love and care to others, and myself, my hope is evolution , not stagnancy!

[LobsterTank]

I agree, mhkc. I use the tools for many things in my life.

[Rich_T]

Nicely done, Lobster. We have a second chance at life.

[mhkc]

Hugh, that is a wonderful thoughtfully considered piece of attention you gave the forum, I really hope your influence carries forward to more of the new blood of smart leadership..

[heavensorrow]

Congrats on your success. Day 150 and trying to keep positive and motivated.

[trailmoose]

So good I'm sharing to morning thread. Thank you.

[mhkc]

I hope what I say is very powerfully helpful and positively influencing... Because I've been reading the book called Feeling Good by David Burns and I'm actually doing a suggested exercises in it and I'm on page 100 and it's a 700-page book but I think it's extremely powerful and it talks about a different approach that uses both cognitive behavioral therapy some principles as well from Ashley motive therapy from Albert Allison there and back and he compiles it into an academic called king. T stands for testing with patient or participant tests his behaviors and keeps track of them journals them logged with them and analyzes them e stands for something else that I can't remember right now as well as A&M butt I think it's going to be a pretty powerful work even though I'm having my challenges with it for pretty good reason cuz I'm learning something I think... Almost wanted to start a specific thread to cover the exercises and the work and shared Bookshare type of manner with other people arranged in Pursuit reading it start like a little micro book club about it here on the smart website

[JackNimble]

Great post Lobstah Tank. It's interesting I have seen this Viktor Frankl quote twice in the last 12 hours: "“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl --- might be worth meditating on that....

[mhkc]

Hey Jack... Right on man! I really resonate with what you were saying is Well. About Viktor Frankl. In fact, I was advocating a change to the board's attention and to everybody's attention participants and volunteers because I think the power between what Viktor Frankl says his grade. Albert Ellis... Is good to to me... However I think there was kind of a little bit of a personality cult going on around him. If I were to just get my direct say in the matter. In other words there are other wonderful resources and tools that are not necessarily 100% Albert Ellis based thinking that has been a positive impact that I've noticed. In fact the dangers of falling into a personality cult and at leadership style around that is something that I watch closely. Especially to keep a mental health progress curve going up on a trend. So with that just wanted to mention that I'm currently reading the book Feeling Good by dr. Burns. It's on the smart reading list. But I found it otherwise. And I can say this it's having a very apparent profound effect on me as I'm working through it right now doing some of the exercises and paying close attention to it in fact I'd like to start a book study around it to see if other people are interested to learn something from it and share really great stuff glad to see you

[Dazzle2you]

What an awesome share!!

[LobsterTank]

Thanks, everybody, for taking the time to read my post!

Trailmoose

Heavensorrow, congrats on 150 days!!!

JackNimble, that is my favorite from the list as well!

Mhkc, the first part of the SMART acronym is Self-Management so use whatever you find helpful to continue your success. For example, along with the REBT tools, I read Upward Spiral by Alex Korb and also used hypnosis tapes to solidify my change.

The basis of the SMART program is REBT. Just as AA has its 12 steps and religious recovery programs have God, that is what SMART is built upon.

What you keep bringing up here is a topic that you could start a thread on in the forums and see what others think. I do not think it is a topic that necessarily fits in the Success Stories thread.

Have a great day or at least a crappy sober one!

[Sobermum]

Congratulations Lobster Tank!
I agree with Hugh, you are a real light here with positive energy and honesty
All the best to you.

[mhkc]

That is very inspiring to hear lobster. The upward spiral sounds like a good read I think I will enjoy it too. I'm currently in page 100 of 700 with the feeling good book I've done the exercises in it pretty good the journal keeping for at least the next week we'll make it two weeks straight then identifying thoughts solar two-way smart has it but then he's got some different formats of pleasure ranking and Mastery ranking of activities that I think might lend itself well to further my solidification and change with level that I'm at. And I too did a lot of hypnosis and still might visit a time to time great stuff

- - - Updated - - -

And yes I did start a blog about this book... So I look forward to it. Keeping another area where there's a topic to have discussion on. And yes weaving the concept into either a success story or maybe building on recovery they're kind of a fine line. In my mind I was thinking coming here that this is success stories may have included a little bit of things like what's been improved upon. Which is a little bit different than success. I see that now and thank you for clarifying that. I can see your perspective.

[LobsterTank]

Thanks, Sobermum!

Enjoy the new thread, MHkc!

[shyster]

stay strong

[mhkc]

yes, life is a matter, so I find, of 'keeping on getting it"

[alimeeabey]

Hey Congrats,

Stay strong

[LobsterTank]

Thanks, shyster and alimeeabey!

[leaf]

So cool Lobster!

Ur a Bad Azz!

[LobsterTank]

Thanks, Leaf!