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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    Small town B.C. Canada
    Posts
    27

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    Arts, nice words, I was most certainly a wine woman alcoholic! Everything you said was so true, I wasted too many days hung over, in a fog & embarrassed with my behaviour.
    Today is day #22 for me without a drink. For the first time in many, many years I'm enjoying clear eyes, straight thinking & a sense of calm. Miss my wine glass - so still use one to drink club soda.

  2. #42

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    Unclutter, way to go, it really does feel good to feel good and to know you yourself are choosing this is also really empowering. Enjoy!

  3. #43

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    Redwoodt7, I appreciate what you're saying .. that "wine isn't stopping the anxiety, it is hiding it from you". I suppose that's true. For me, it's not so much anxiety as just noise. All this noise in my head the entire committee up there just stops talking and lets me be. Lets me relax and just ahhh. I don't know. I've been told yoga does the same thing.. but I have to find the thing I guess to replace what I get from wine. Because, certainly the cons far outweigh the pros at this point. Two glasses is heaven, the rest of the bottle is the problem, for that night, for the next day, for everything. However, the further away that last hangover gets, the more I begin to believe I can have just one. Of course I can't, but what is the solution? Everyday, thinking about this. it's craziness. Why don't we just stop and get on with life? Why do we keep thinking about it?

  4. #44

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    I've used alcohol, and just about anything else I can that will distract me, to cope with emotions I don't want to feel. Anxiety is a huge trigger for me. I've been involved in mindfulness therapy for about a year now. Part of it is to pay attention to my emotions and body. What I've begun to notice is that while alcohol may numb the anxiety briefly it will actually create more anxiety through cravings and withdrawals. I wake up a few hours after my last bedtime drink and am in an anxious state of sleeplessness for a long time. Throughout the morning and day I feel anxiety as the withdrawals ramp up. I might get an hour or two of relief while drinking but then face 20 or so hours of feeling anxious from the alcohol itself. This is called a false refuge. It creates the problem it is meant to fix. Thus the addictive cycle. Emotions are messengers delivering important information we need to listen to and use. Anxiety in a relationship is telling us that something needs attention and resolving. Killing the messenger just lets the problem be as it is and often get worse. I highly recommend mindfulness as a therapy that can help with addiction. And I highly recommend nonviolent communication as a tool to evolve relationships into a state where problems can be addressed so that they don't become triggers for addiction. Google Tara Brach and Marshall Rosenberg to start on both paths.

  5. #45

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    Good job. Keep up the good work.

  6. #46

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    Hi
    I just started today and can't believe how many of you share my issue with wine. It makes me feel less alone. Thanks for sharing your stories. I will not drink for four days and then drink a bottle of wine a day for three days. It's this constant binge cycle. I'm ready to change and looking for a way other than AA.

  7. #47

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    Hi Kat,

    We meet again! I too drink in the same pattern, except mine had exceeded to three bottles of day on occasion. Less than ideal. I also drink when I am relaxed and un-stressed which I read some one else saying. Go figure. A reward of sorts I guess.
    26-08-12

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Waukesha, WI
    Posts
    8

    Default

    That is great that you did not get the bottle of wine! Not only that you also got on a treadmill. A very positive way to handle the stressful situation. Pretzels were a good substitution as well. Be proud of yourself! Stay strong!

  9. #49
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Waukesha, WI
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Don't think in those terms. I did that too in the beginning. I hated the "one day at a time" phrase so I fought it. But in reality that is what it takes. All you have to do is get through today. Don't think beyond that at this point. I got to the point of thinking I don't want to drink ever again. Stay strong! You can do this!

  10. #50

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    Hi my name is Yessica
    Last edited by Gordon1; September 4, 2017 at 1:15 AM. Reason: "Research" is required to be approved

  11. #51

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    That's great I hope you will continue in future and become the inspiration for other.

  12. #52

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    Good for you guys. Keep up the good work and wise decision making. It's difficult when urges hit to want that "quick" fix and reach for the bottle but that is never a good solution. Sober is better. Always.

  13. #53

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    congrats alright

  14. #54

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    Waking up to day 2 of my new life today. Iíve spent the morning reading this thread and find so much comfort knowing that Iím not the only one. Wine was my thing.

    Single college (10 years ago) Ive convinced myself that somehow I wouldnít keep this drinking thing up forever. But itís 10 years later - a decade- and Iíve got next to nothing to show for it.

    I did recently, in June, make the decision to leave my ex boyfriend and move across the country to my first home. I finished my masters degree and literally packed up the car the next day and started driving.

    I think that was my was of literally starting a new chapter. But, when I got home, I kept on drinking. It was always, ďthis is the last weekendĒ ďIíll start tomorrowĒ. But Iíd go 3-4 days without drinking and cave in and go
    get a bottle. Or 2. I was sneaking it. I wanted every dang event to be an excuse to drink.

    But Iím soooooo tired of thinking about alcohol all the time. Itís living in my head and itís not paying rent and I do not want this life anymore.

    I told both of my parents what was going on yesterday. They were incredible. It was so hard to say ďI think Iím an alcoholicĒ out loud.

    I have a doctors appointment on Friday. I was t to get checked for any damage I may have done to my body. Iím so so scared. My dad is coming with me - Iím so grateful for that.


    This is so hard - Iíve been given every opportunity in the world to succeed and I had been feeling like I just failed. But as soon as I started asking for help, itís been incredible. The stories, the support. It gives me so much encouragement.


    Long post- sorry- but I really just want to say Thank You to all of you. I can tell this is going to be a great place for me.

    Starting into the unknown is so scary. I donít know what sober life looks like, so Iím scared. But Iím only 33, and I want to make the best of the rest of my life. So regardless of what the future holds, my new life has to start now.

    Thanks again to all of you.

  15. #55
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3

    Default

    Hi there! Your story sounds exactly like mine!!! Wine is definitely my vice too! Tomorrow will be my day 2! I’m new to smart recovery and I’m hoping to learn as I go!

  16. #56

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    Yes, I agree. I am sober 7 days and feeling very good but in deep inside I feel sad that I never drink again wine...

  17. #57

    Default Day 2 here as well

    DCS18,

    If you take a look at the responses that have been posted, you can take heart knowing youíre not alone. You have friends (here) and family to prop you up. Because thatís what itís gonna be in the beginning: being propped up. Donít beat yourself up about it. When ever you feel that urge for a drink, go through the procedures: ďWhat activated the urge?Ē. Examine it and you realize itís just a feeling. Youíre not compelled. Then think of the consequences. Most times, in short order the urge will disappear. How do I know? Did you notice Iím on day 2 as well. Thatís because Iíve been here before and Iím not ashamed to admit it. Yeah, sometimes weíll slip. Itíll happen. Like I said: donít beat yourself up if it happens. Just get back to the routine. Thatís what Iím doing. Good luck.
    KenG6


    Quote Originally Posted by dcs18 View Post
    Waking up to day 2 of my new life today. Iíve spent the morning reading this thread and find so much comfort knowing that Iím not the only one. Wine was my thing.

    Single college (10 years ago) Ive convinced myself that somehow I wouldnít keep this drinking thing up forever. But itís 10 years later - a decade- and Iíve got next to nothing to show for it.

    I did recently, in June, make the decision to leave my ex boyfriend and move across the country to my first home. I finished my masters degree and literally packed up the car the next day and started driving.

    I think that was my was of literally starting a new chapter. But, when I got home, I kept on drinking. It was always, ďthis is the last weekendĒ ďIíll start tomorrowĒ. But Iíd go 3-4 days without drinking and cave in and go
    get a bottle. Or 2. I was sneaking it. I wanted every dang event to be an excuse to drink.

    But Iím soooooo tired of thinking about alcohol all the time. Itís living in my head and itís not paying rent and I do not want this life anymore.

    I told both of my parents what was going on yesterday. They were incredible. It was so hard to say ďI think Iím an alcoholicĒ out loud.

    I have a doctors appointment on Friday. I was t to get checked for any damage I may have done to my body. Iím so so scared. My dad is coming with me - Iím so grateful for that.


    This is so hard - Iíve been given every opportunity in the world to succeed and I had been feeling like I just failed. But as soon as I started asking for help, itís been incredible. The stories, the support. It gives me so much encouragement.


    Long post- sorry- but I really just want to say Thank You to all of you. I can tell this is going to be a great place for me.

    Starting into the unknown is so scary. I donít know what sober life looks like, so Iím scared. But Iím only 33, and I want to make the best of the rest of my life. So regardless of what the future holds, my new life has to start now.

    Thanks again to all of you.

  18. #58

    Default

    I’m laughing because it just occurred to me I’m in the wrong thread. This is “the wine thread”. I should be in “the vodka thread”. Seriously, if I can make an observation. Many, many years ago, I was sitting at the bar drinking something (who can recall). I was eighteen and a friend sitting next to me (16 years old) was drinking vodka. I clearly remember asking him:”Jimmy, how can you drink that stuff?”. And he answered:”I’m not into it for the taste. I’m only into it for the buzz.”. Over the course of the years I drank just about every conceivable alcoholic beverage but finally started to realize the truth in Jimmy’s reply. It’s not the wine. It’s not the beer. IT’S THE BUZZ. Please take this in the spirit it which it is intended. You (everybody & anybody who are reading/listening) don’t have a wine problem or beer problem. You & I, we have an ALCOHOL problem. Believe it or not I have a cabinet in my home that’s filled with all kinds of booze. I never touch them. Why, because I’m not interested in the taste, the aroma, the bouquet, etc. I’m only interested in what it does to my brain. THE BUZZ. That’s why my medication of choice (and that’s what it is: a medication) was vodka. No taste. No smell. No bouquet. No nothing. Just buzz. Cheap and effective. I used to think that nobody can tell I’ve been drinking because there’s no odor of alcohol on my breath. What a joke! What’s the point of this rambling? A gentle reminder offered with the best of intentions: it’s not a wine problem. It’s not beer or bourbon or scotch or anything else problem. It’s an alcohol, a buzz problem. Just sayin’.

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