My Good bye Letter

**Peg1960** · December 14, 2015, 10:54 AM

Addiction,
You had always been a casual friend to me.More like an aquintance.
I enjoyed you when you were around,but didn't miss you when you were not.

Then... For many reasons,I began to rely on you more.You became a good friend,a friend that was there to console me,to feel good about life and myself. You never doubted me,but it came to the point where I as doubting myself.

The people closest to me were seeing a difference.There were a lot of questions and on my part a lot of lies.I was becoming someone they didn't like.Someone I didn't like.But...you were still there.

My relationships were crumbling around me.My family was always on guard.I have so much good in my life but I chose you over everything that is good.I have had so much shame and guilt.How could I do this? This is not me,how did I get to this place?

I let you in when I was most vulnerable and you took advantage.I am angry at this!

I will not feel the shame and guilt anymore.I can't if I want to move forward,and I DO.

Ive learned so much about myself and how I let you influence me.I have dug deep and am so proud of myself.My family sees it! I see it too!
I am learning the tools to cope.I am making my own rules.I am in charge of my future.Me and only Me.Not you.
There will be times when you try to creep back in but I will dig deep and always remember what brought me to this place.You will Not bring me down again.

I have no more secrets and I have great supports.Supports I didn't know I had.Thats a beautiful thing!!

So addiction,I say good bye.I have a lot to live for and you are not part of it.
So excited about my future,No more lies.
Peg

I wrote this letter a couple of weeks into my recovery.
That was 2 years ago!Ive been a non drinker since December 18,2013.

Life is good! I am good!
Peg

**~~AlbertaSam~~** · December 14, 2015, 6:50 PM

Thanks for sharing this with us, it is a story that can be written by many or us at SMART.

**Sam29** · December 14, 2015, 7:20 PM

Very inspiring, Peg. Thank you.

Love,
Sam

**Gordon1** · December 14, 2015, 10:30 PM

Good on you Peg! Fantastic! Congrats on the two years

**fenquat** · December 15, 2015, 12:57 AM

Nice to see your post this morning Peg

**MovingAhead** · December 15, 2015, 7:58 AM

Thank you for sharing that. I really needed to read that today

.

**Peg1960** · December 15, 2015, 10:40 AM

Good morning,
Not sure how the "Not You" got in the title line,anywho...
Thank you for your responses,I truly appreciate each and every one!
Peg

**lalunala** · December 15, 2015, 11:12 AM

Congratulations.

**Hickok** · December 18, 2015, 7:45 AM

Awesome Peg, Very inspiring. I congratulate you for your continued VICTORY!

**heyfly** · December 19, 2015, 12:05 PM

Well written and inspiring letter. Kudos!

**Drebin** · December 20, 2015, 10:57 PM

WOW! Some pretty heavy stuff there. This was so inspiring and I appreciate you sharing this! It's awesome to hear of other people's success stories. To see this written in the form of a goodbye letter is... almost eerie. It's like saying goodbye to an old friend or old lover that treated you like dirt. Very intense! Thank you.

**Patrick-C** · December 23, 2015, 11:43 AM

Really, really lovely.

**patrickpd** · December 23, 2015, 5:42 PM

Love this Peg, so much that I printed it out and put it in a special place to remind myself. Thank you so much for posting it!

**JWS1960** · December 27, 2015, 2:32 PM

This is good stuff indeed! And congrats!

**AWalton789** · December 27, 2015, 3:27 PM

Beautiful... I share the same sentiment!

**Peg1960** · January 7, 2016, 3:22 PM

Thanks to you all,
This is my life and I'm loving it.
Easy? No but I'm looking forward and on a great path,and soooo worth it!
Peg

**Michaela** · January 13, 2016, 1:09 AM

This is wonderful Peg, thanks so much for writing it. For me, closing out day three, it will really help me see my addiction for what it is. A manipulative hanger-on pretending to be a friend.

Congrats on two years! Thanks for the inspiration.

**James1981** · January 13, 2016, 2:28 PM

That was an amazing and inspiring post... i am taking alot from it in my recovery also

**Peg1960** · February 1, 2016, 10:43 AM

Thank you for the replies.
Your words mean a lot to me.
Peg

**sobergolfer** · February 1, 2016, 8:51 PM

Wow Peg....very thoughtful and inspiring...I like that "good bye"....6 days for me!! hope to be where you are in 2 years!!

**Boutime** · February 2, 2016, 8:46 PM

Congrats! That's awesome!!! As a newbie here, reading something like that keeps me hopeful anD inspires me to continue on my path of sobriety. Thank You!

**M-3** · February 8, 2016, 7:16 PM

Great letter Peg. Thank you for sharing.

**shyster** · March 17, 2016, 6:52 PM

pretty awesome stuff peg, thank you!

**Minnow** · March 18, 2016, 11:15 AM

Simply Awesome!!!! You're an inspiration and this should be a sticky..

**Lawyer--interruptd** · March 18, 2016, 11:28 AM

Great letter!

**Peg1960** · March 18, 2016, 12:27 PM

Thank you everyone! I appreciate your words

Life is good,I am good!
Peg

**Questor7** · March 21, 2016, 8:23 AM

Dear Peg
Thank you for sharing this inspiring goodbye letter. And it really resonates with me, how our addiction can become our best friend at such a high price. Even after quite a few years clean and sober, I have moments of doubt, I find myself sometimes longing for that old "friend" but then I remember just what kind of a friend it really was and I continue on my journey of sobriety. And you're right when you say that it's not always easy, this new path, no it isn't but so worth it. Thank you for giving me something wonderful to wake up to today.

Best to you.
q7

**catwalk** · April 23, 2016, 12:52 AM

That was quite inspiring and thought-provoking) Thinking of my addiction as a friend who used me all up and had just thrown away when things got the worst, and inviting me to have the same experience over and over again - there was and has been nothing friendly in it to me.

**JuniorIII** · April 24, 2016, 7:43 PM

Very inspiring! Congrats on the 2 years, as well! Were you using SMART when you wrote this letter?

**Peg1960** · April 25, 2016, 9:17 AM

Thank you Junior,
I was in a 6 week in patient treatment facility when I wrote my letter.
It was an AA based facility but after a few weeks there I was given the opportunity to go to 2 Smart meetings.
That was a gift. I finished my treatment in early February 2014 and when I got home I Joined SROL and began attending F2F meetings weekly.
I still attend the meetings and read here. I do this because I have got so much from Smart that maybe I can tell my story and give someone hope. Hope that I was looking for in the beginning of my recovery.

I don't drink and I have to thank Smart and my supports for helping me find my way.
Thanks for asking...All my best to you

Peg

**shyster** · May 1, 2016, 6:08 PM

Great job staying focused.stay determined, you know what you need to do

**umqf9828su** · May 17, 2016, 9:52 AM

Great job staying focused.
Very inspiring! Congrats on the 2 years, as well! Were you using SMART when you wrote this letter?
That was quite inspiring and thought-provoking.

**rudy1432** · May 19, 2016, 1:41 PM

That is awesome. You give me hope and inspiration. I wrote my good-bye letter as well. I am currently in a live-in treatment facility and am leaving this Friday. I have my tools and surly plan to use them. Today is my 44th day sober. Am so excited to live again instead of just exist. Thanks

**Zeldabelle** · September 2, 2016, 11:19 AM

Thank you for sharing, it has given me great inspiration.

**Happyrecover** · September 2, 2016, 1:19 PM

Hello !!
Thank you for sharing this letter, I am glad that you have been able to be sober for this two years and I'm sure you will be able to do it for so much more years !!
Yes life is good

**lin1321** · August 12, 2017, 2:03 AM

Congratulations on your sobriety and your inspiring letter. I said good bye to my old friend 2 1/2 months ago and started with Smart today. I'm enjoying my life, and myself, so much more now. Life is very good.

**vickimz** · August 12, 2017, 11:32 AM

Hello lin1321,

Saying god bye to your old "friend" is perhaps the most life enhancing powerful decision you have made in your life. It is guaranteed to open a new world to you it has for me 2 1/2 months is an awesome beginning. I am pleased you are experiencing life as very good!

**Peg1960** · August 12, 2017, 12:39 PM

Hey lin1321,
Thanks for your kind words! I started with Smart around the 2 1/2 month mark also.Congrats to you!!!
I am coming up on 4 years in December,I can't say enough about the website and the people in these forums.
This is the best thing I've ever done for me,and it will be for you too!!
All my best
Peg

**JvB** · August 16, 2017, 7:11 AM

Wonderful letter Peg.

JvB

**Winning** · August 20, 2017, 9:05 PM

I know you wrote this a while ago, but thanks so much for doing it! I am new to SR but sober for 6+ months, is there a forum you would suggest?
Thanks

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