Addiction,
You had always been a casual friend to me.More like an aquintance.
I enjoyed you when you were around,but didn't miss you when you were not.
Then... For many reasons,I began to rely on you more.You became a good friend,a friend that was there to console me,to feel good about life and myself. You never doubted me,but it came to the point where I as doubting myself.
The people closest to me were seeing a difference.There were a lot of questions and on my part a lot of lies.I was becoming someone they didn't like.Someone I didn't like.But...you were still there.
My relationships were crumbling around me.My family was always on guard.I have so much good in my life but I chose you over everything that is good.I have had so much shame and guilt.How could I do this? This is not me,how did I get to this place?
I let you in when I was most vulnerable and you took advantage.I am angry at this!
I will not feel the shame and guilt anymore.I can't if I want to move forward,and I DO.
Ive learned so much about myself and how I let you influence me.I have dug deep and am so proud of myself.My family sees it! I see it too!
I am learning the tools to cope.I am making my own rules.I am in charge of my future.Me and only Me.Not you.
There will be times when you try to creep back in but I will dig deep and always remember what brought me to this place.You will Not bring me down again.
I have no more secrets and I have great supports.Supports I didn't know I had.Thats a beautiful thing!!
So addiction,I say good bye.I have a lot to live for and you are not part of it.
So excited about my future,No more lies.
Peg
I wrote this letter a couple of weeks into my recovery.
That was 2 years ago!Ive been a non drinker since December 18,2013.
Life is good! I am good!
Peg

jwg54, You gave me so much hope from writing that. I have this feeling like my addiction will never go away. Mine is porn/phone sex which I understand is even harder than drugs. You write Plus,...
Continued Success