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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Upland, Ca
    Posts
    385

    Default Thoughts On Hope That We Can Change Our Thinking And Change Our Lives

    Thoughts On Hope That We Can Change Our Thinking And Change Our Lives.

    I was doing some research on addiction and behavior and I was thinking about us, about myself, about how we can feel in our depths of despair in addiction and some of the processes we use in SMART to help ourselves. I like SMART, it works well for me. We use techniques and statements to get us to realize that the 3 major upsets are ourselves, others, and life events, and that we let or make ourselves upset about these things. And we use tools in SMART that we can help us believe we donít have to be upset about these things.

    And we say change our thinking, change our life. We say our beliefs cause us harm or our beliefs lead us to positive outcomes.

    This is all true, buts itís not always easy to grasp that our beliefs and subsequent actions are hurting us. Other people and life can and does hurt us. Itís ok to be upset about crummy stuff, itís how we deal with these upsets that is the key. If we use our upsets with ourselves, other peopleís actions and lifeís stuff, like I did with every with little bump in the road, to get blasted, we will always have reasons to do that. And when we punish ourselves, has that ever changed the past, present or future for the better?

    I know what its like to have drank and taken drugs so long that changing this ingrained behavior seemed impossible because I could not conceive of anything that would make me feel better, even when it was literally killing me.

    I understand that many of us have difficulty with changing our thinking. The very thought that we can change our beliefs, which are our thoughts and feelings, can be hard to accept. These thoughts of ours are so deeply ingrained in most of us it can seem impossible to change how we feel and view things.

    I understand how difficult it can be to learn and accept that our negative emotions and other people and life events donít make us drink, drug, gamble, overeat or hurt ourselves. We hurt ourselves with things that make us feel better, at least for a little while. Itís true that we believe that we have no better option to feel better, feel good, cope with stress, anger and sadness or be reasonably happy than to drink or use.

    That thought, that we have no better option is not true. There are plenty of options, and there is hope for all of us. People do change and stop hurting themselves with drink and drugs and harmful behaviors all the time. There is hope for us, plenty of it.

    I have been in despair, I have given up on myself, I have not only been on my knees, I have been flat down on my face. I just thought eventually I would die. I have been broken with no hope and confidence whatsoever that I could stop. But I have stopped and changed. I did it.

    I changed my thinking and changed myself. I have overcome severe drinking and drug use. Yes, SMART helped me and so did my family and my employer. But I changed myself by changing my thinking. I trained myself to believe there are better options, and I accepted that there are many better ways to live my life than being a drunken drugged out wreck.

    And lastly, I accepted myself; I accepted that I am human; that the beliefs I had developed about myself that I could never be man enough, courageous enough, tough enough, strong enough, smart enough, successful enough, or just plain "good" enough were wrong. None of those thoughts were true. I accepted that I have good and bad characteristics. I am as worthy of happiness and hope and joy as anybody else. There never was a reason to punish myself the way I did for so long.

    So, there is hope for all of us. We all have the same power to have a good healthy life as the same power to destroy ourselves. We can all help ourselves and be well. And SMART has good tools and help for us.

    Mike MT Massey
    SMART Recovery Facilitator

    "Be Well. Treat yourself like you were your own best friend, and you will be well."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    664

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    I love this Yayaya!! Very well written...bravo!!

  3. #3

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    Thank you Mike, this is incredibly inspiring to me and has given me hope when I really needed it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    kingston On
    Posts
    1

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    Thanks for sending this link. It resonated with me. I am going to bookmark it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    73

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    Amen. A resounding ovation to you, sir.

    This is essentially the same message I've been sharing since my recent arrival here. We can change. It doesn't have to remain the same. There are options - better options.

    I know not everyone will have it happen as it happened for me. I experienced a very sudden and unexpected epiphany/miracle/cognitive-behavioral shift of perception about 3 years ago that tore through all the fantasies I'd built up over 25 years of daily, oblivion-level, vodka drinking. I just saw through it! I saw that none of it was true, and that drinking actually gave me nothing - not one real benefit. My entire belief system changed concerning alcohol (and shortly thereafter, cigarettes) that night.

    I changed.


    I haven't been able to "un-see" it since, and I'm not only abstinent, which is great, but more importantly, I haven't had a single craving or the slightest desire to drink since then (almost 3 years). I know this to be because I've changed. I don't expect everyone to be at a point at which they can embrace the change I experienced, at least not at first, but I feel it's my duty as someone who thought himself irredeemably lost to spread the word.

    Change is possible. Real change. Real freedom.

    Thanks for your post, Mike.
    Bill

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,315

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    I am new to the site. And new to meetings. After realizing my drinking had become a problem I spent 6 weeks in treatment.hardest decision I made but also the best. Quickly embraced the program and came to find out I am not a bad person. I spent a lot of time thinking I was!
    I am 3months sober on my birthday March 18! Cool!!!! I have temptations of course but am looking at life with open eyes now and realizing I have more support than I ever thought I had.I opened up to the people that mean the most to me and it's been amazing.

    one of the big things I have learned is to be kind to myself. I am only responsible for how I think and feel. I have no control over others.That is huge coming from a people pleaser!Thank you smart for the inspiration!!!!!

  7. #7

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    Thank you all for this post and comments. Very inspiring for me to read. So glad I found SMART. I do believe it can work for all of us.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Alberta
    Posts
    9

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    Thank ewe so much MT! I have been reading this a couple times every day. It has been making a difference to how I see things more clearly!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4,124

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    This is a great post, and nearly made me cry. Thank you.
    I'm not telling you it is going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.

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