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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
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    Vancouver, Canada
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    Default Continued Success

    I wanted to share some of my insights from my sobriety/recovery journey.

    One of the huge successes I've encountered is the way my thinking and perceptions have changed from my years with Smart.

    I've enjoyed over 3000+ days abstinent from "street drugs", over 2000+ days abstinent from alcohol and today is 51 days abstinent from cigarettes. However, probably none of that could have happened if I hadn't changed my behavior and my thinking.

    I, recently, was informed that I'm at a high risk for prostate cancer and need a biopsy. As I left the hospital, I had a momentary thought that a "fatal" diagnosis would be a justifiable reason to drink again. But it was just a thought, there was no urge or craving for any substance and I quickly dismissed it.

    Then, the following week, I had 12 teeth/roots extracted for future dentures and despite the pain/discomfort, there was no thought of using/drinking.

    How is this possible from someone who used to drink or use daily?

    That would be constant application of the Smart tools I've learned and applied for years now. I looked at my values (HOV) and the pro's and con's of going back to previous behaviors (CBA) and there was no way I wanted to return to that life. All the drama, the constant emotional upheaval, the shame and guilt, the depression, none of these things held any sway over my current decisions.

    Plus, I've recently got myself a new relationship with someone I love dearly. I just couldn't disappoint myself or her by engaging in my former unhealthy behaviors. That momentary relief that substances gave me wasn't worth giving up EVERYTHING I've accomplished with my years of hard work.

    So, when I heard that "addictive" voice in my head, I just smiled and said "I don't think so, not today."

    It's taken me more than 35+ years and many, many relapses to get to this day where I'm prepared to say that I'm going to remain sober - NO MATTER WHAT.

    I've, also, had the privilege of being a Smart facilitator and a peer here at SROL for years now and I would've had to sacrifice those things on the altar of relapse. NOT TODAY.

    LOVE & HUGS, James
    I can't always make it better but I don't have to make it any worse.

  2. #2
    Gordon1's Avatar
    Gordon1 is offline SMART Online Moderator
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    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
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    Default

    Lovely journey to read James

    Thankyou so much for all the warmth you bring to life here

    “So, when I heard that "addictive" voice in my head, I just smiled and said "I don't think so, not today."”

    Hahaha!

    Go you good thing!

    You tell it!
    What got me sober was trying to get sober. Often when I lapsed, picked up, drank, I FELT thoroughly beaten. I thought at that time "there is no hope for me" Yet, when I had recovered from that thought just a little, I thought "I'll have another go!" It was a few little sparks, rather than a flame, that got me here!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    1,691

    Default

    James
    First, I just want to say BRAVO for the sobriety you have achieved for so many days, and weeks and months and years! Truly a remarkable accomplishment and as you say, you wouldn't be here today unless you had taken a good look at your behavior and thinking. I know I once tried to and actually stayed sober for two years, many decades ago, without changing my thinking or behavior. And then I just woke up one morning and decided I didn't really have a serious drinking problem. And I continued to drink and use drugs for 3 more decades. Yep, true story and one that I imagine many people here at Smart can identify with.

    I am truly sorry to hear that you are at high risk for prostate cancer. And yet, what amazes me, is you only had a fleeting thought that a potentially fatal disease could give you a free pass to start drinking. Well done you! And I know you didn't get to where you are by "wishing" you would not have urges. You rolled up your sleeves, worked the tools, went to meetings, volunteered in your community and became a Smart Meeting Facilitator... and more... you did the work that brought you to where you are today in your sobriety.

    And so it is that you are now prepared to say that you will never drink or use again - NO MATTER WHAT. I'm right there with you and it's a wonderful place to be.

    With all that's going on in your life, I'm so happy to hear that you have a lady that you love. I'm really happy for you!

    I love this statement you made. I'm going to keep it where I can see it as a daily reminder: "So, when I heard that "addictive" voice in my head, I just smiled and said "I don't think so, not today."

    Thank you for all you do for us here at Smart. The shining light from your lighthouse helps so many people find their way back home.

    Wishing you the very best with all that's currently ahead of you.

    Love and hugs back to you

    q7
    "The central human drama is not wanting the experience we are having"

  4. #4

    Default

    jwg54,
    You gave me so much hope from writing that. I have this feeling like my addiction will never go away. Mine is porn/phone sex which I understand is even harder than drugs.
    You write
    Plus, I've recently got myself a new relationship with someone I love dearly. I just couldn't disappoint myself or her by engaging in my former unhealthy behaviors. That momentary relief that substances gave me wasn't worth giving up EVERYTHING I've accomplished with my years of hard work.
    I agree so much. There's this Demi Lovato song, Sober, where she sings:
    I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why
    I do it every, every, every time
    It's only when I'm lonely
    Sometimes I just wanna cave and I don't wanna fight
    I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
    Just hold me, I'm lonely

    The relationship must help so much.

  5. #5

    Default Today will be my give full force to sober 😍

    Quote Originally Posted by jwg54 View Post
    I wanted to share some of my insights from my sobriety/recovery journey.

    One of the huge successes I've encountered is the way my thinking and perceptions have changed from my years with Smart.

    I've enjoyed over 3000+ days abstinent from "street drugs", over 2000+ days abstinent from alcohol and today is 51 days abstinent from cigarettes. However, probably none of that could have happened if I hadn't changed my behavior and my thinking.

    I, recently, was informed that I'm at a high risk for prostate cancer and need a biopsy. As I left the hospital, I had a momentary thought that a "fatal" diagnosis would be a justifiable reason to drink again. But it was just a thought, there was no urge or craving for any substance and I quickly dismissed it.

    Then, the following week, I had 12 teeth/roots extracted for future dentures and despite the pain/discomfort, there was no thought of using/drinking.

    How is this possible from someone who used to drink or use daily?

    That would be constant application of the Smart tools I've learned and applied for years now. I looked at my values (HOV) and the pro's and con's of going back to previous behaviors (CBA) and there was no way I wanted to return to that life. All the drama, the constant emotional upheaval, the shame and guilt, the depression, none of these things held any sway over my current decisions.

    Plus, I've recently got myself a new relationship with someone I love dearly. I just couldn't disappoint myself or her by engaging in my former unhealthy behaviors. That momentary relief that substances gave me wasn't worth giving up EVERYTHING I've accomplished with my years of hard work.

    So, when I heard that "addictive" voice in my head, I just smiled and said "I don't think so, not today."

    It's taken me more than 35+ years and many, many relapses to get to this day where I'm prepared to say that I'm going to remain sober - NO MATTER WHAT.

    I've, also, had the privilege of being a Smart facilitator and a peer here at SROL for years now and I would've had to sacrifice those things on the altar of relapse. NOT TODAY.

    LOVE & HUGS, James

  6. #6

    Default

    Continue to be an inspiration! Good job.

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