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  1. #1

    Default 2 months and 2 weeks

    It's been 2 months and 2 weeks since my last drink. I binge drank for 3.5-4 years. I didn't know how addicted I was, but I did know that I could not continue drinking if I wanted to live a long life. It has been an emotional rollercoaster of daily lows and not so lows. I for sure had no idea that PAWS was a thing. I keep pushing forward because I know that this depression and intense anxiety are not who I am. I haven't ever experienced feeling so low and I truly feel for those who battle with depression on a normal, daily basis, because it is a struggle. I know that I will get through this period in my life and return to my normal, anxious, happy pain in the butt true self. Even if it takes a while. One thing I know I won't do is pick up a drink EVER again. EVER. AGAIN.

  2. #2

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    That is amazing~ I wish I could say that I won't pick up a drink EVER again. EVER. AGAIN. Ugh....my Dr is wanting me to try Wellbutrin for my depression - but I;m on a very low dose of Ativan (0,5mg/2x/day) for the next 2 weeks... assuming I stay sober for the next two weeks, I can progress to WellB. I've been on it before and it REALLY helped! I went off due to lack of insurance coverage - but am now able to start again....at least once I get sober for two weeks Have you tried any antidepressants?

  3. #3

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    Thank you, Ready22. Funny you should ask. Yes, I have tried antidepressants. Celexa 4 years ago for 6 months and I swear the celexa gave me the urge to drink because I never drank or had an urge before starting it, but it didn't give me any major problems other than that. I quit drinking May 2 and when the bad anxiety wouldn't go away I thought it was me. I really hadn't educated myself on the whole detox process and had no idea it could take a year or more for your brain to heal. I started taking lexapro about a month later and relapsed while visiting my mom and while the meds were building up in my system. I think it made everything 100X worse and heightened the symptoms of PAWS. I had to stop the lexapro immediately and withdraw from that as well. If this hadn't happened I would have never been able to say never again. I'm so traumatized by how messed up my brain got that I'm scared to touch a drop of alcohol for the rest of my life. I'm going to therapy to try to learn coping skills instead of going on an AD again because I'm honestly too nervous. Right now I don't feel like this is a blessing in disguise...I'm really hoping in the future it doesn't bother me as much. I know I'm still healing.

  4. #4
    Gordon1's Avatar
    Gordon1 is offline SMART Online Facilitator
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    Default

    Hi there RAB1828 and well done on that 2.5 months!

    In the RESOURCES tab above there are heaps of self empowering tools and the meetings discuss these in depth.

    I got HUGE benefit from working through the tools and the handbook.

    Well done YOU!
    What got me sober was trying to get sober. Often when I lapsed, picked up, drank, I FELT thoroughly beaten. I thought at that time "there is no hope for me" Yet, when I had recovered from that thought just a little, I thought "I'll have another go!" It was a few little sparks, rather than a flame, that got me here!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by RAB1828 View Post
    It's been 2 months and 2 weeks since my last drink. I binge drank for 3.5-4 years. I didn't know how addicted I was, but I did know that I could not continue drinking if I wanted to live a long life. It has been an emotional rollercoaster of daily lows and not so lows. I for sure had no idea that PAWS was a thing. I keep pushing forward because I know that this depression and intense anxiety are not who I am. I haven't ever experienced feeling so low and I truly feel for those who battle with depression on a normal, daily basis, because it is a struggle. I know that I will get through this period in my life and return to my normal, anxious, happy pain in the butt true self. Even if it takes a while. One thing I know I won't do is pick up a drink EVER again. EVER. AGAIN.
    Depression doesnt have to be a struggle. It can be dealt with you just need to address the triggers, and it will lighten the burden depression brings.

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