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  1. #1
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    Default Where would I be without Smart Recovery...probably drunk or high

    Where would I be without Smart Recovery? Probably drunk or high.

    I’ve been through a lot, but my journey of recovery began at 4:00 am in the morning on August 4, 2005. Lying face down on the floor where I had just fallen and broken my ankle, after a long night of unpleasant visits to the bathroom, I reflected on what had happened the night before. It seems I had gotten it into my monkey mind that since I had stayed sober for 30 days straight, it was time to celebrate. So I got drunk. Very drunk. And very sick. Go figure.

    But lying there on the floor, I had an epiphany. I knew that I was done getting high. Done getting drunk. Done running away and numbing myself. I found Smart Recovery a few days later.

    Many things happened to me after that fateful morning. Dogs had to be put down. Both my parents died. My spiritual mentor died. My partner’s parents died. Did I drink over any of that? No. I went to Smart Meetings. I grieved, I cried, I got angry and frustrated but I didn’t drink or use.

    Then more stuff happened. I was in a car crash that I was surprised to survive. A few months later my dearly beloved partner, David, woke up one morning, fell over and died of a brain hemorrhage later that day. Did I drink or use? No. I reached out to many friends for support, went to more Smart meetings and found a way to get through it all clean and sober.

    Not long after David died, I was having severe panic attacks and insomnia and if that wasn’t enough to deal with, I got diagnosed with chronic leukemia. Did I drink? No, but I was pissed off as hell at life. And then I reached out to friends and went to more Smart Recovery meetings.

    Now we have the pandemic and civil unrest. I still have chronic leukemia and insomnia. (I finally put a stop to the panic attacks.) I still don’t drink or use or get numb or run away.

    Do I get urges? Hell yes. There are times when I just want to throw in the towel and get so high that I’ll never come back from it. But then there is my loyal companion, Smart Recovery, that has taught me so many things, one of which is to play the tape to the end of the story. That one, amongst many others has saved my butt more times than I can say.

    So where would I be without Smart Recovery? Probably drunk or high…or maybe even dead.

    It’s truly a tough time to be alive on this planet, but isn’t it wonderful to know that there’s nothing out there that can make you drink or use? I know that no matter what, I always have a choice and despite these times of uncertainty, that’s something that can never be taken away from me.

    As always, I tip my hat to you Smart Recovery and to all the people that make up this wonderful community of ours. I don’t know where I would be without you.

    Sending you my heart ❤️

    Kevagne Kalisch (aka questor7)
    Last edited by Questor7; June 7, 2020 at 10:10 AM.
    "The central human drama is not wanting the experience we are having"

  2. #2
    Sam29's Avatar
    Sam29 is offline Distance Training Team
    Former SMART Online Facilitator
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    Nov 2004
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    Kevagne,

    We have travelled this road together and for me you have been a great support. Thank you for "sending your heart". Back to you my friend. ❤️

    Love,
    Sam

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
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    Vancouver, Canada
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    You had me smiling with the celebrating sobriety with drinking. Been there, done that. I remember, in the 90's, celebrating my 3rd annual "1 year birthday".

    You're an inspiration to all of us.

    LOVE & HUGS, James
    I can't always make it better but I don't have to make it any worse.

  4. #4
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    Aug 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sam29 View Post
    Kevagne,

    We have travelled this road together and for me you have been a great support. Thank you for "sending your heart". Back to you my friend. ❤️

    Love,
    Sam
    Oh dear Sam, and you have been my support during so many times on this road. I'm so glad to have gone on this journey with you. Take care. ❤️

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by jwg54 View Post
    You had me smiling with the celebrating sobriety with drinking. Been there, done that. I remember, in the 90's, celebrating my 3rd annual "1 year birthday".

    You're an inspiration to all of us.

    LOVE & HUGS, James
    Yeah, James, been there done that on more than one occasion as well but that last one was a whopper and thankfully a turning point. I'm so glad to be here in the community sharing my story and learning so much from everyone else here. Thanks for writing to me.

    q7
    "The central human drama is not wanting the experience we are having"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2020
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    Default

    Good morning Questor, what a great success story
    The Tool Time topic on the meeting I facilitate tonight is "Getting Motivated"
    I hope you don't mind me sharing it with the group
    If you have time to show up maybe you can read it 7:00 pm ET
    Again thanks for being such an inspiration to many

  6. #6
    Gordon1's Avatar
    Gordon1 is online now SMART Online Facilitator
    Former SMART Face to Face Facilitator
    Former SMART Online Meeting Liaison
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    May 2013
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    What a triumph!

    Thankyou so much for sharing your journey, it is humbling.

    Please take care of valuable you
    What got me sober was trying to get sober. Often when I lapsed, picked up, drank, I FELT thoroughly beaten. I thought at that time "there is no hope for me" Yet, when I had recovered from that thought just a little, I thought "I'll have another go!" It was a few little sparks, rather than a flame, that got me here!

  7. #7
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    Aug 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moderator AlbertaSam View Post
    Good morning Questor, what a great success story
    The Tool Time topic on the meeting I facilitate tonight is "Getting Motivated"
    I hope you don't mind me sharing it with the group
    If you have time to show up maybe you can read it 7:00 pm ET
    Again thanks for being such an inspiration to many
    Hi Alberta Sam

    I'm humbled by your using my success story in your meeting. Sorry that I couldn't make it last night but look forward to joining one of your meetings again soon.

    Best to you

    q7
    "The central human drama is not wanting the experience we are having"

  8. #8
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    Aug 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gordon1 View Post
    What a triumph!

    Thankyou so much for sharing your journey, it is humbling.

    Please take care of valuable you
    It's always good to hear your kind words, Gordon. It is important that we take extra good care of ourselves during these chaotic times and I hope you are doing the same for you. By the way, I really like what your wrote in your signature. And I find, too, that it is true that "it was a few little sparks, rather than a flame that got me here."

    Best to you

    Kevagne (q7)
    "The central human drama is not wanting the experience we are having"

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