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  1. #1
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    Default 6 years, 10 months and 11 days, or thereabouts

    its 7:00 am already and not even light outside. The long nights were conducive to drinking for me. By the end of Feb, 2013, I could tell I was in too deep and had to get out. Again. But that time I decided I would stay out. It was the year I would turn 50 and that milestone was weighing, looming. Would it change me? the real questions was, would I change me?
    The answer is yes. I remember at my one month day feeling so accomplished, but also apprehensive, as to whether or not I would stick to my committment to myself. Myself, because I had not told anyone else. Except that's not true. I was on FB at the time, and after a month I felt confident enough to post a meme of a guy drinking with the red bar/circle buster emblem over it.
    Alcohol is not part of my life at all anymore. Today is not my anniversary of quitting but it is the anniversary of when I was digging myself further and further in, The long winter days inside alone. Waiting for dawn. Not really caring.
    There is a way out; I made the choice.
    Here comes the sunlight now. It's going to be another awesome day to be really alive again.

  2. #2
    Moderator JvB's Avatar
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    Great work Dave. Keep it up.
    "Take an optimistic rather than pessimistic view on yourself and your future - as long as you do not take to unrealistic extremes." Albert Ellis

  3. #3
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    Congrats Dave!

  4. #4
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    I read your post several times, Dave. And each time I felt such joy when you said, "The long winter days inside alone. Waiting for dawn. Not really caring.
    There is a way out; I made the choice."

    You did make the choice and isn't it wonderful?

    I feel so happy that you are enjoying the sunlight.

    Best to you

    questor7
    "The central human drama is not wanting the experience we are having"

  5. #5
    Gordon1's Avatar
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    Well written and well done Dave!
    What got me sober was trying to get sober. Often when I lapsed, picked up, drank, I FELT thoroughly beaten. I thought at that time "there is no hope for me" Yet, when I had recovered from that thought just a little, I thought "I'll have another go!" It was a few little sparks, rather than a flame, that got me here!

  6. #6

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    It's going to be another awesome day to be really alive again.

    ^^ I’m glad you are, and me too!

  7. #7

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    Thank you for sharing this. You inspire me and give me hope when it is much needed.

  8. #8

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    Tuts is very encouraging to read because I can relate. I have determined that I will NEVER stop trying. But...I’m still trying.
    I can become very discouraged. I come from a family full of heavy drinkers and when I fail, which is most of the time, I can start thinking, “Well that’s just who I am because that is what I come from.” But I refuse to believe that. I don’t have to be like them. Sometimes it is hard to believe though. I’m just going to keep trying. ��*♀️��

  9. #9
    Gordon1's Avatar
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    Gee Cherrycoke!

    I feel your increasing awareness!

    "when I fail, which is most of the time"

    Geez! I am in awe of you for TRYING in an environment that doesn't lend itself to it.

    When YOU FAIL you fail mightily.

    I am humbled by your effort.

    "Rather than victory, I look for courage.
    For when I go on in a struggle, I bring honor to myself.
    Even more, I bring honor to us all."

    I REALLY believe and get power from that.

    As you falter, you and I grow.
    What got me sober was trying to get sober. Often when I lapsed, picked up, drank, I FELT thoroughly beaten. I thought at that time "there is no hope for me" Yet, when I had recovered from that thought just a little, I thought "I'll have another go!" It was a few little sparks, rather than a flame, that got me here!

  10. #10

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    Thanks Dave for sharing. today is my first day on SMART and day 3 sober and I'm turning 49 next week. I have committed to making this my best year ever before the big 5-0! I am so glad I found this. Your stories are encouraging.

  11. #11
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    Cheerycoke,
    I'm glad to hear about your determination to rise above your surroundings. I cannot think of any Big Occasions that did not involve beer when I was growing up. Not always to excess, but the point that fun=drink and vice versa became ingrained, and only by stopping did I realize that.
    I know you'll keep trying, right?
    I look forward to seeing you around SMART.

  12. #12
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    Rogonzo. Welcome!
    It's silly how one birthday means more than any other, isn't it? Or even one day more than others. But it's true. MAybe it's a good thing if it motivates people like you and I to make a change more emphatically.
    I am humbled and happy that you read my post, and more so if it resonated. To me, that was the best part of SMART at first--hearing fragments of my own journey and efforts come from others whom I knew not at all.
    Now I am starting to "know" some people here, as much as one can online. It's a good place.

  13. #13

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    Thank you for sharing. I am brand new to this and need to hear some success stories.

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