Results 1 to 14 of 14
Share this SMART Recovery Success Story!
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    2,857

    Default Four Years into a Different Life

    Four years is a long time and a short time all at once...

    When I first joined SMART July 16, 2015; I was so hopeless and felt so helpless that I didn't think I could make it home from work without making my usual stop for booze. But after signing up here, reading through some of the toolbox articles and forums, and doing my first CBA, HOV, and ABC; I did make it home!

    That was an amazing feeling!

    During my 30+ year over-imbibing career...(I call it a career because it really was a full-time occupation)...

    -I drove drunk hundreds of times
    -I earned 3 DUIs
    -I had two terrible wrecks, one of which involved a pregnant woman...another in which I earned a brain injury that took months to recover from
    -I ruined friendships and relationships
    -I lost jobs and squandered opportunities
    -I awoke from blackouts in strange places with strange injuries
    -I feel through our glass coffee table and then just went to bed even though I suffered cuts that required 2 dozed stitches and my blood ruined our nice pillowtop mattress
    -I was too drunk to take Lobster to the ER when she was having chest pains and someone else had to take her
    -I made ALOT of mistakes in my current career that fortunately didn't cost anyone their life
    -I earned myself an enlarged liver and an ascending aortic aneurysm
    -I piled up about 1100 failed quits along the way. Yep, you read that one right...1100
    -I wasted many years just existing when I could have been striving toward my potential
    -I lived in a constant state of shame, guilt, regret, paranoia, hopelessness, helplessness, and perceived powerlessness.
    -And countless other actions that I will never remember I did...

    For those of you who read my list and your bullsh\tter says, 'Hey, you aren't as bad as LobsterTank was...you have ALOT more drinking you could do before you settle down into this abstinence business.'...

    Have no fear!

    I guarantee becoming the Drunk Me is a completely attainable goal for each of you. You can do it! You and your bullsh\tter have what it takes to get you further down that road of misery and periodic horrors.

    BUT if you want to be like the SMART me, the one with 4 years of abstinence, self-respect, self-control, and periods of peace and satisfaction, I am here to tell you even louder...THIS IS ME TYPING LOUDER...This is a MORE attainable goal.

    You can do it!

    You have what it takes to regain control of your life, relegate your bullsh\tter to the back seat where it belongs, and live the life you wish to live and become the person you wish to be.

    You can totally be like me with 4 years, Melliemoo with 6 years, Dee with 16 years, JVB with 35 years of abstinence and the many, many, many other Smarties who have found freedom.

    Seeing those folks and How they got where they wanted to be inspired me forward on my own success path. I hope you find some Smarties in here to 'follow' as well.



    SMARTies and the REBT tools, articles & essays, the handbook, chatroom, podcasts, the success stories forum, daily check-in threads, the journal section, and online & F2F meetings are all here to help you make the change you require in your life.

    USE the tools, figure out where you want to be and Create a Plan to get there. Be Accountable to yourself and maybe an online group here on SROL. Decide that you are Willing to be uncomfortable. Learn Why you do the things you do, think the things you think, and How to Change that.

    Put AT LEAST the same time, effort, and energy into your abstinence as you did your BOC/DOC.

    Commit to yourself and your abstinence first... No Matter What.

    The three commitments I made that I attribute the success of my abstinence to were and are:

    -Learning as much as I could about myself through REBT and practicing the techniques
    -Knowing deeply that no person, situation, or feeling ever had the power to MAKE me drink
    -Remembering even on the difficult days that I am not abstinent to be happy; I am abstinent because I did not want to be a drunk another day of my life

    Everybody has good days and bad days. Everybody experiences success and failure. Everybody has love and loss in their lives. This is the ebb and flow of every life. I CHOOSE abstinence because I want to be present for that, every moment, even the painful ones.



    These changes don't happen without You making the Choice to change. Often these changes don't happen without discomfort. And these changes definitely do not happen without Work.

    Notice the first part of the SMART acronym is Self-Management...

    That Work is up to You. That CHOICE is Yours. And consequently, that Success is Yours as well.

    I have complete faith in each and every one of you to accomplish this. I know you have what it takes to make ANY change you require in yourselves and your lives. I believe in you even if at this moment or the next, you might not believe in yourself.

    It is dam hard work being a drunk or a junkie or a binge eater or a gambler, et. al. If you can maintain that, you literally can do ANYTHING.



    From one 30+ year career drunk who four years ago couldn't even make it home without stopping for booze...

    You Got This.

    Have a great day or at least a crappy sober one!
    “Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in her”


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Vancouver, Canada
    Posts
    1,508

    Default

    I've loved all the work you've done with the "7- dayers" during your time here.

    LOVE & HUGS, James
    I can't always make it better but I don't have to make it any worse.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    1,157

    Default

    Huge congrats to you, LT! I am happy to be walking the SMART path with you!

  4. #4

    Default

    Awesome indeed!! Also, thanks Lobster for all you do here at SROL. I know you have helped me. Sending much love + positive energy.

  5. #5

    Default

    I really enjoyed reading this because it is honest, to the point, and hopeful. This gives me motivation and commitment to my recovery. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Slapp
    "The desire to succeed takes hard work and commitment. I really want to do well, I choose to be successful" ~A.M.

  6. #6

    Default

    Thanks for sharing this! You have been an inspiration to me over the past year and I especially love your no nonsense, down to earth style. And after many many false starts I celebrated my one year of not drinking yesterday. Life is so much better now. Thanks for being part of my recovery!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    2,857

    Default

    Nayana... WOW! Congrats on 1 year!!! . Find something (in line with your goals) to treat yourself with! Keep being awesome!
    “Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in her”


  8. #8

    Default

    Oh LobsterTank,
    What an amazing and inspiring post! Thanks for the reminder that the Beast is always there, lurking. . .
    Thanks for the reminder that we are not being abstinent in order to be happy. . . .

    Every day we choose to live or to die. For years I was choosing to die with alcohol my weapon of choice. Thanks for reminding me that I want to live - the good and the bad - all of it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Kansas City Area
    Posts
    1,342

    Default

    Great points. As I continue in my life, as well, I find the work of boundary setting is legit as ever. I come to smart in 'different ways' , depending on how I progress... I admit that. As well as how I use my senses with how well it serves. Great points.
    Thoughts, Words, Actions, Habits,Character = UR DESTINY

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Saint-Petersburg, Russia
    Posts
    1,192

    Default

    Congrats, LobsterTank! What you've achieved is unbelievable) This is a very inspiring post, and you've been an insiration to me since or exchanges of messages on the 7 days check in thread. You and your commitment to SMART and sobriety are an inspiration!

    I managed to quit alcohol about 6 months ago, I don't think it was SMART, but rather there were no benefits from drinking booze anymore; but now I'm struggling with caffeine addication. And I guess all that you'd written applies to quitting caffeine (it's even less safer to drive under the influence of caffeine as well), a toxic addictive chemical and drug. I'm doing my work now and I think that I'll be able to conquery this terrible (terrible for me) affliction soon.

    Happy celebrating!

    P.S. If you don't mind, I'll share a link to your post on the 7 days check in thread, your alma-mater as a volunteer

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    2,857

    Default

    First of all, the highest of fives on getting 6 months!



    Remember Smart starts with Self-Management so we have control over HOW we achieve our goals. I am glad you cobbled together a plan and toolbox that helped you make that change with booze.

    I have absolute faith that you can change your behaviors regarding caffeine. I found, and you may as well, that although each behaviors is somewhat different, they all have the bullsh\tter in common and the endless prattle of illogics and excuses will seem very familiar to you.

    A Known enemy. AND one you recently defeatedly on another battlefield.

    So, you beat that nonsense once with booze. Now you will beat it with caffeine. You are the hardest working Smartie I know and I have complete confidence in you.

    As for the link, we Smarties are all in this together. I get so much from others and their posts so if it will help, you can definitely add this to your 7 day thread post.

    Keep up the great work! I am very, very glad you are my friend.

    Have a great day or at least a crappy sober one!
    “Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in her”


  12. #12

    Default

    That is terribly impressive and hopes me get through the long weeks. Thank you for this.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Kansas City Area
    Posts
    1,342

    Default

    I hear catwalk. I respect that there is a process of change , in life. Stopping smb for me has been levels.and yes, it's a difference between slipping, or even "treating" oneself..vs the beliefs that drive addiction.

    ABC Cba, and LSB/HOV/CBA/COP tools apply to rounding out my life...as opposed to over emphasis on addiction. To me it's about finding the IB or other unhelpful belief, even if its life...not just "addiction "
    Thoughts, Words, Actions, Habits,Character = UR DESTINY

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    5,089

    Default

    Awesome post, LT.

    Congratulations and thank you for years of inspiring posts/journals like this one!

    “If you want to change your life......change your mind"

Share this SMART Recovery Success Story!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •