Two Years Sober

[JoanofArc]

Yesterday, I celebrated two years of abstinence from alcohol. SMART is the only recovery program that I have really been through. Two years ago, I wasn't sure I could make it even three weeks. When I chose to do something about my addiction, I was living overseas and didn't want to tell my immediate colleagues. SROL was a lifesaver for me. Finding online meetings that gave me actual tools that I could practice every day to actually get through those urges successfully–and then practicing the tools–made all the difference.

Recovery is different than I thought it would be. This journey has been a most revealing journey. I know myself in a way I never did before. I recognize my irrational thoughts. I fight back when urges come. I now see that my urges to drink are and always have been reactions to feelings and thoughts. That's okay, though, because my choice is not to give in to those reactions.

When I first joined SMART, I heard some people in say in meetings that they hardly ever had urges anymore when they were two years sober. I also heard people who were many years sober say they couldn't grasp the idea of "never again," so they took it one day at a time. Well, I still have urges, but I also have a pretty stressful life and work environment. But it doesn't matter that I have urges still, because they are just ideas, just urges. They can't actually make me do anything. In fact, when they come, I might even say I find them helpful because I know that if I want to drink, there is some other need, a real need, that is going unmet in my life. Urges come, but instead of compelling me to actually drink, they remind me to take care of myself. Because I know now, after TWO FREAKING YEARS without a drink, that alcohol is not what I need. It's not what I value anymore.

For the first time in my life, I am looking forward to old age. That's huge for me. When I was drinking and using, I was "surviving" but really not happy about it. I was hoping that I would just kill myself. I am so glad that I didn't, and that I faced myself and my problems instead. I enjoy parenting my children. That is huge for me.

And do I feel like I can go "the rest of my life" without a drink? Well, I know I CAN if I choose to. Still, I prefer not to think about it, because I know I can and want to be sober today. I've made that choice every day for two years, and I'll make it tomorrow too.

Joan

[komoto]

Great realizations Joan. Congrats on 2 years. Wow that seemed to go by fast. Do miss you in the AM meetings but so glad to read of your successes today. Keep moving forward. Take care.

[mermaiden143]

I absolutely love everything about this post - you are so amazingly honest and real, and brings a sense of empowerment, clarity, and hope to all of us in the recovery community. We vary as much as humans vary, and that is a lot! but realness like this is a thread that binds.

Congratulations! You are amazing.

[LobsterTank]

Congrats on TWO FREAKING YEARS!!! LOL!!!

And thank you for the amazing post.

I love how successful SMARTIES always seem to have commitment to working with the REBT tools in common.



Good, good work!

Have a great day or at least a crappy sober one!

[LMR555]

Joan,
I loved your comment...."Urges come, but instead of compelling me to actually drink, they remind me to take care of myself. Because I know now, after TWO FREAKING YEARS without a drink, that alcohol is not what I need. It's not what I value anymore. "
Congrats to you on all of your successes!! Way to go. Great choices. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and success.


Lorrie

[JvB]

JoanofArc,

You did the work. I'm sure it wasn't easy.

"I recognize my irrational thoughts" Funny how they almost never completely go away. I know mine are less frequent & less intense. But, every now & then, they come back just to say 'Hi'.

Keep up the good work.

JvB

[HeidiM]

Joan!!! My soberversary buddy! Congrats on 2 years sober! We miss you in the 6 a.m. meetings. I hope that your life is going well. So great to read this! Take care, Heidi

[Gordon1]

Wonderful efforts and awareness JoanofArc!

Congratulations!!

[RebornMe]

JoA, Congrats on two years of a new life. your efforts have paid off!

[mh_logic]

Congrats on 2 years, Joan! Freakin’ sweet!

[shyster]

you get two gold stars, way to go, show your urges whos the boss!