Unexpected Benefits of Being Sober

I've been sober and active in SMART for 5 years. One of the things that I have learned is that I often find "unexpected benefits" to my decision to move into recovery.

Recently, my daughter had an infection that went septic and she was in the hospital for 3 days. We were very worried about her as her fever went up and down. Fortunately, the sepsis was in an early stage and the antibiotics worked. That's the really terrific news: she's better and we are home again.

When you are in the hospital (I stayed with her), there is a lot of time for thinking and I realized that I was experiencing some unexpected benefits of sobriety.

Here's my story:

1) when my daughter woke me early on Wed. morning to say that she was in a lot of pain, I was sober. I wasn't hungover. I was able to concentrate and think of how to help her.

2) When I took her to the doctor's at 11, I was sober. I hadn't been sneaking drinks. I could drive. I wasn't hungover. I could focus.

3) When the doctor was unclear about whether to take her to the ER or not, I was able to ask her questions. I was clear headed.

4) When my "gut" told me that something was really wrong, I was able to drive her to the ER because I had not been drinking. My daughter was in a great deal of pain and out of it. I was able to interact with the medical personel in a proactive way.

5) When she was admitted to the hospital, I was able to stay with her. I wasn't secretly wanting to go home so that I could start my drinking. I wasn't secretly sneaking wine into water bottles and sipping it, hoping no one would notice.

6) I was sober and alert when my daughter's condition worsened that night in the hospital (good thing I was able to be there - because I was sober).

7) As she got better, I was able to stay with her. I wasn't trying to get home so that I could start drinking. I wasn't sneakng drinks. I was WITH her.

8) When she got discharged from the hospital tonight, I was sober. I could drive her home. I could pick up her medicine. I was so glad for us to be back home and that was a pure joy. It wasn't sullied by the desire for a drink.

I was sober. I was sober. I was sober.

Unexpected benefits.

Heidi

Thank you Heidi for sharing your experience with us. I am so happy to hear your daughter is OK.

I've often thought about my mom's health and my ability to react when something (inevitably) goes wrong. Being there for a loved one is an important, crucial benefit. Thank you again.

Heidi, I am very happy for you...but of course you have my prayers regarding your daughter.

It is astounding how much we used to let our unhealthy behaviors keep us from actively participating with our loved ones and even in our very lives.

What a great feeling of gratitude you have expressed here! I am sure your daughter was grateful for your complete presence as well.

Thank you for being an active participant on SROL so I and countless others can learn from you!

Be well.

:br

J-La: being able to be there when our loved ones need us is something we all want. I feel very fortunate that I found SMART and recovery when I did. Thanks.

LobsterTank: I know that you have family health issues going on right now as well and I especially appreciate your kind words. Thanks.

Wonderful Heidi :)

Sorry that your daughter went through that, but very glad she is OK now.

Heart warming benefits :)

Good on you Heidi. We can actually experience our lives when we are sober. We sleepwalk through it when we are drunk.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HeidiM

I've been sober and active in SMART for 5 years. One of the things that I have learned is that I often find "unexpected benefits" to my decision to move into recovery.

Recently, my daughter had an infection that went septic and she was in the hospital for 3 days. We were very worried about her as her fever went up and down. Fortunately, the sepsis was in an early stage and the antibiotics worked. That's the really terrific news: she's better and we are home again.

When you are in the hospital (I stayed with her), there is a lot of time for thinking and I realized that I was experiencing some unexpected benefits of sobriety.

Here's my story:

1) when my daughter woke me early on Wed. morning to say that she was in a lot of pain, I was sober. I wasn't hungover. I was able to concentrate and think of how to help her.

2) When I took her to the doctor's at 11, I was sober. I hadn't been sneaking drinks. I could drive. I wasn't hungover. I could focus.

3) When the doctor was unclear about whether to take her to the ER or not, I was able to ask her questions. I was clear headed.

4) When my "gut" told me that something was really wrong, I was able to drive her to the ER because I had not been drinking. My daughter was in a great deal of pain and out of it. I was able to interact with the medical personel in a proactive way.

5) When she was admitted to the hospital, I was able to stay with her. I wasn't secretly wanting to go home so that I could start my drinking. I wasn't secretly sneaking wine into water bottles and sipping it, hoping no one would notice.

6) I was sober and alert when my daughter's condition worsened that night in the hospital (good thing I was able to be there - because I was sober).

7) As she got better, I was able to stay with her. I wasn't trying to get home so that I could start drinking. I wasn't sneakng drinks. I was WITH her.

8) When she got discharged from the hospital tonight, I was sober. I could drive her home. I could pick up her medicine. I was so glad for us to be back home and that was a pure joy. It wasn't sullied by the desire for a drink.

I was sober. I was sober. I was sober.

Unexpected benefits.

Heidi

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The last time I saw my mom she asked me to stay longer in the hospital but I told her I had to go because I had my drugs in the car waiting for me and I just didn't want to bother with it I will always always always regret that

Desuro, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you can be kind to yourself about it. You made a mistake but we are all human and we all make mistakes at times. Take care.

Well said Heidi.

It is a common aspect of Addictive Behaviour - was for me.

At least you are here Desuro, in, and seeking, ACTIVE recovery

Heidi gave us all an insight into the possibilities of that :)

Heidi, thank you for this reminder of the unexpected benefits of sobriety. I sometimes find myself slipping into thoughts like, "Well, it wouldn't REALLY affect my family if I picked up again..." That is FALSE. Thanks for sharing your experience, and I hope your daughter is on the mend.

Heidi, this is really inspiring. I think your approach to sobriety- what you CAN do now that you're sober, not what you CAN'T do (drink!)- is one that will help me maintain my own motivation, as the urges sneak back on me. And those urges are really sneaky!
Thank you again.

Love this. thanks for the inspiration!

That's awesome. Good for you and keep up the good work!

Thank you Heidi for sharing that post. I am sorry your daughter isn't feeling well, my prayers are with you for a full and speedy recovery. It's amazing how we ever got through simple things before, glad you have peace of mind and the ability to participate fully in your daughter's healthcare...take care.

Great post and comments. Thanks to the ones that have been here a long time. It's encouraging.

I am really glad your daughter is doing better! I totally know what you mean about the unexpected benefits of sobriety. I recently spent a week at the lake with my family and because I am sober now I wasn't constantly thinking about sneaking off to go smoke weed or being excited to leave so I could go home to my bong. I was fully able to be present, honest and open with my family.

Great post, and glad to hear everything is fine with your daughter. I haven't had anything as dramatic as a hospital visit, but I have had similar experiences. Starting to drink as soon I got home from work and then having to come up with an excuse for why I don't want to meet my wife or friends (because I am already to drunk to drive anywhere).

thank you for the story, it really is helpful to have support. I wish there were three or a few in NW Ark to have a casual meeting.
thanks again

hanging tough

Dependability is definitely an unexpected benefit for me. I had a relative with an emergency situation that came up on a Saturday nite. I answered the phone and said I would be right there. after I hang up I thought.... man, good thing I can drive right now... what would have happened if I couldn't get there.

I'm really glad that you could be there for your relative as well. I hope everything is okay now. Take care.

I love this post Heidi. I have had a lot of life events that have come up lately that have made me particularly grateful that I have been abstinent. My elderly father has not been in great health and lives an 8 hour drive from me, my partner's father recently died, and her beloved pet did too, and my partner has had many work trips over the last year. All of this adds up to a ton of driving, being attentive to others in need, and having a clear mind -- I often run through my list of what I am able to do for others and myself now that I am drug & alcohol free.

I read your story and omg that was so great to read. Of course not the part about your daughter being sick, and so happy that she recovered fully. that is very scary when family is sick especially a child. I have been through that many times. lol. I am so happy to hear that u went through the whole process sober. Sobriety really does have a exream amount of benefits to it especially when it comes to something as taking care of children. I am so happy for you and just really enjoyed reading your post! Hope all is continuing to go well.

I just read your story too and I think it is SO AWESOME!!! How wonderful to feel clear-headed and competent. Our families DO need us and I'm so glad you've found your way...Also very glad to heat that your daughter was ok and recovering. I wish you the best. THANK YOU for sharing.

serene and clean, that is how you do that! stick with it.

Hello Heidi,
I see this was posted quite a while ago, but it is still extremely helpful! It's a great inspirational post and will help me and certainly others to stay motivated. It made me want to cry. I'm so glad for you that you were sober at the time and that you thought to write this post for us

Since my sobriety I have gotten my daughter a majority of the time, bout to be remarried, been taking care of things I might’ve normally put off and have completed my steps through probation and am ready for the summer a new challenges

I never expected to being successful like this, engaged again and planning a family as well. I’m there for my 13 year old daughter and will have a 12 year old step daughter as well. Life is good!

Well done etulppo :)

Yeah sometimes i get those spontaneous moments of gratitude and appreciation for my sobriety. Yesterday I woke up in the morning, getting ready for work, and I thought about all those days waking up with a brutal hangover, trying to make it into work on time, having to explain absences once i got there.

What a post inspiring rethinking some moments in my life when I wanted to be drunk alone more than being present at my sister's wedding, or when I was afraid that my grandpa would be disappointing by me not finishing my engineer degree in the university and simply pushed him back not answering his phone calls when he was dying, or when I was self-abscessed and treated my ex-girlfriend super badly when she told me that a friend of hers just passed away for HIV... Family and close relatives are there for you, and you'd rather be there for them with love when they need you and not being a self-ignorant *******, not a human being.

I have these thoughts myself and I just prayed that they got better and just took things one day at a time

sober, hmmm!

Sober. Sober. Sober. I love it. Congratulations. Alot of people who are not or were not controlled by addiction will not understand how important it is for us who have battled this disease. I think its great that you are there for your daughter. She will remember how you were there for the rest of her life. Stay sober. Take care.

Today I celebrate 6 years!
As the days and months and years have passed I have become the person I was always meant to be.
Smart F to F and SROL have been a huge part of my success.I have not only learned not to drink,I have learned so much more about myself.
I am present and have choice.

Out of hopelessness has come hope and for that I am forever Grateful!
Life is good :)
Peg

Hey this story has helped me as a metaphor for my own life and my parents in their old age...my dad had complications with minor surgery over my birthday and well I can relate to this, I had cut back my drinking a lot so it wasn't too bad but I did end up drunk texting a bit, atleast I didn't drive!

Specifically for me the health benefits were numerable and apparent. Three years have passed since I finished addictionresource rehab I`m still newly amazed at some. Here are a few remarkable:

Shaking and sweating from withdrawal was one of the first to go.

The black marks under my eyes disappeared.

My vision improved after about 6 months, new glasses needed.

Normal(ahem) bowel habits.

Steadier on my feet, balance returned. This is still noticeably improving.

Clearer thought process with less anxiety.

I`m able to make long range goals and think through difficult projects more readily.

My value to my employer has increased, resulting in a promotion and more money, always a good thing.

Being aware of these positive changes has helped to make it easier to stay sober. Good luck to you.

This was most helpful for me to read and more importantly. I’m going to print it and read every day
THANKS😊

Yes being sober brings positivity. There is no reason to be afraid by being judged or being pulled over by police while driving intoxicated, smelling like alcohol while at work, making poor decisions, gaining weight, having blood shot eyes, being hungover, having lack if energy, putting everything aside, isolation, depression, makin excuses why not to go to important events or celebrations, etc. Being sober opens up new horizons, if you will. Being sober has made me a positive self confident individual. I am no longer afraid to face reality and deal with daily challenges the best to my ability. Being sober equals success!

I applaud your enthusiasm even if it might be a little over the top for some. It's great to hear the benefits to look forward to in the coming days/weeks/months, especially the first one! The second and third are already beginning to show and I can see them improving steadily as time goes by.