Just passed 2 years

My paternal family history includes a lot of drinking; pretty close to every male in living memory, as I grew up, had a 'drinking problem.' On my mothers side, both of my grandparents drank too much.

I watched my father sink into a dark hole, lose jobs, do and say terrible things....much like HIS father.

So naturally I got blackout drunk on the street at 14. Just to be clear, that is dark humor.

My drinking ebbed and flowed, and I succeeded in many ways while still drinking. But the drinking became steady, nightly, heavier, more filled with binges, planning for drinking, drinking AT problems and conflicts. Drinking AT life, AT depression....make it go away drinking.

It was, in some ways, a form of self harm behavior. I knew very well the cost, the destruction, the dangers. I would sometimes say a phrase in my head: 'You are nothing, not worth saving.'

My wife and I were drinking partners. We drank together nightly. She drank too much, and I drank more. We kept trying to quit, and one of us would cave in a few days, and round and round we went.

A little over two years ago, a niece was in late pregnancy. Her mother has been drinking to blackout daily since she was a child. In the course of looking at her situation, and considering what to do, we had to look at ourselves more candidly.

When the niece went into labor, we visited the hospital. Her mother wasn't there, not planning to come, not able to care. I didn't want to 'be that person', and I knew that in critical ways, I already was.

I walked out of the hospital very determined, but at a loss for how to get support.

My wife and I had gone to an AA meeting, but for a variety of reasons, it was a poor fit for us both. Then she found SMART, and signed up. I looked over her shoulder at the forums, at the ideas behind SMART, and created an account right away.

For myself, reading forum threads off and on has been a big part of my recovery process. Thinking through my own self talk, my beliefs and assumptions about myself, others and the world has been trans-formative.

The decision to be true to my values and goals, and to be ready to reevaluate them, was a huge part of building and keeping my motivation. It's a lifelong process, but I'm doing the work that makes success in moving toward my goals more likely.

There are several cognitive tools used here at SMART that are useful. Ways to dispute negative perceptions, impulses, behaviors, beliefs. The idea is to figure out what helps YOU help YOU, then do it. There's a lot of community support in this process.

I've also found that the ideas and practices of mindfulness have been a great help in growing toward the person I want to be.

Alcohol has no place in my life. I don't feel any desire at all to drink. It has no value for me. I have more important things to do.


gregr

GregR. Thank you for posting this. Your progress and your thoughtful comments and kind suggestions on this website have helped me tremendously, and I am sure many others. I suspect that quitting drinking was one of the very best choices and changes you have ever made!

GM

Thanks gila!

It's a process I was ready for.... Would have been nice a lot earlier, but it's still a nice surprise.

Gregr

Great job and awesome advice!! I just downloaded the SMART app and im so happy to find so many more tools available! The forum has definitely been a huge help! Keept it up!

WooT Woot!! Gregr,

Congratulations on 2 years! I really enjoyed reading this post! So many points that you made stuck out. I was going to quote you but it is just better to reread your whole post! ;)

Best to you and your family,
Lmr555 Lorrie

Thanks DnK, Lorrie!

Gregr

I'm proud of you and NWGal, and greatly appreciate your insights here.

So wonderful, gregr. Thank you for being here to share that with the rest of us.

Hi gregr,
Such inspiration! In 17 months from now I hope to be posting the same success:)Congrats!
Peg

Thanks guys!!

One year milkshake on Wednesday for Mel!!:DE Maybe a kale shake....or maybe something less green.

I stumbled onto these success stories this afternoon. So inspirational to read. It's wonderful, as a newcomer and a beginneer with SMART, to read these stories. Thank you for sharing your story.

You are very welcome!

I still think some days about how much more clear headed I feel. Even on days with too little sleep, and irrational thoughts buzzing around, about work..... I wonder at the difference.

Have a great day!