Extreme bad thoughts - Managing with SMART tools
Hello SMARTians,
I was just in chat discussing the methods I used this weekend in an emotional crisis. While SMART can not directly deal with extreme crisis, I use the tools as part of my crisis plan.
On Saturday, due to severe conflict in my home with my wife and daughter I reached a point of hopelessness. This has not happened for many years but back years ago I prepared a plan if it happened again. Now, with a year sober and very active with SMART my plan is more robust. Here is how I managed it including the SMART tools.
1) I hit the pause button. I left the painful conflict and went to my room.
2) I meditated using breathing techniques I have learned and supplemented by the alternate nostril breathing I learned at conference.
This was not sufficient and my thoughts continued to get more severe with possible self harm. So then I went to professional help.
3) I called the crisis line and did assessment. They gave me a choice of 911 intervention or immediate trip to hospital with a check in by them. I chose hospital.
At hospital, the doctor assessed me and offered me a choice. She did not admit me to psychiatric ward if I would promise to not go home that night and to go directly to the mental health crisis team Monday. I followed her requirements.
Then I started using more SMART tools.
4) I went back to my HOV to review why I am abstinent and why I want to continue my goals. It refreshed my motivation.
5) I had very severe urges so I went to the 24/7 chat, shared my story and got great support. This is using the DEADS tool and the Distraction and Substitution. I also reached out to extended family and my very good local friends for more distraction. I also went to an online meeting.
6) On monday I got a new counselor assigned and also finalized my legal support contract. So I beat procrastination by jumping on to small tasks within my ability.
7) I reviewed my Friends and Family tools and have been using the PIUS communication and setting Boundaries tools with my immediate family since. That has led to the beginnings of understanding again.
8) I also reviewed my Life Balance pie and backed off some of my commitments to a more manageable level while I deal with this crisis. I have not given up, but things that are not critical I set on the back burner.
As of this morning, my mood has lifted from a 2 to about a 6. I am not back to the 9 that I was before it happened but it is picking up. I feel I have used my hula hoop tool focus to pull myself back into what I can control and accept what I can not. It is not perfect, but things are going much better. I am at home, working on my business and talking with my family about how to move forward.
I would like to specifically thank my friends in Chat and Mabb, MTMassey, MomRox, and Grammie for their long term continuing support and mentoring for my facilitating with SMART. And a big thank you to my friends from Family and Friends meetings. It's too much to list you all.
Regards,
Maer
