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DISARM
(Destructive Self-talk Awareness and Refusal Method)
WHAT IT IS: DISARM is a tool which exposes the self-talk and images which
tell us to use, as lies, excuses, and rationalizations. It challenges
those urge- producing thoughts at every opportunity, shooting them down
like a gunslinger or reducing them to the point of absurdity. All humans,
not just humans with substance abuse problems, have thoughts, urges, or
other impulses, which, if followed, would harm their long-term interests.
Realizing the power of what we think/believe about our strong urges to use
and changing distorted thinking is crucial to success. Indeed, the trouble
with a philosophy of 'Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die' is that
tomorrow comes and we aren't dead! So, we are wise to first make ourselves
aware of our destructive self-talk (thinking that is contrary to our
long-term interests) and then refuse to go along with it. While we cannot
will ourselves not to have certain thoughts or feelings, including strong
urges, we can learn how to recognize that there are actually thoughts
driving our urges and how to refuse to go along with them. We can learn to
DISARM them. Then we can walk away from the situation or get ourselves
involved with something other than focusing on our urge to use.
WHEN IT IS USED: When a person indicates that he/she has been
having strong urges -- whether or not he/she given in to them.
Ask and answer the following questions:
1. Question: Do I have to give in to the urge because it is intense and
hard to resist?
Answer: No, I don't have to give in. Because the urge is strong, it would
be easy to give in, but I don't HAVE TO. I have had urges that I did not
give in to,
therefore it must be possible to resist.
2. Question: Will it be awful to deny myself by not giving into the urge?
Answer: No, it won't be awful. It may be quite unpleasant, but unpleasant
is not awful, it's just unpleasant. If I don't give in to the urge, it
will get weaker and come less frequently. If I do give in, the urge will
stay strong, be harder to resist next time and show up more frequently.
3. Question: Is it really unbearable not to give into this urge?
Answer: I don't like the way it feels to deny my urge, but since it
doesn't kill me not to give in, I can keep on resisting. (Remember,
individuals drinking large amounts of alcohol may need to go to a detox
center when they first stop because the sudden end of alcohol really could
be injurious.)
4. Question: Am I somehow entitled to be able to give up using without
strong urges to go back to using?
Answer: No! I don't have a note from God, my mother, SMART Recovery group
members or anyone else which entitles me not to have strong urges to use.
It may be unpleasant to resist some of my urges, but no one gave me a 'get
out of unpleasantness free' card.
The DISARM method allows the individual experiencing the craving to
carefully and rationally answer a few key questions. The results will help
the individual to understand that the urge truly can be overcome, and that
as success is experienced, the urges will be less strong and will occur
less frequently.
DISARMING the 'ENEMY'
Some people find it helpful to use a technique to dissociate yourself from
the voice inside each of us which says, 'It's a good idea to do something
self- destructive.' It is a game you can play with yourself, which might
help you to:
a.) identify the specific thoughts which, if followed, would lead to using
when you have already decided that, in the long term, this choice is not
for you, and
b.) steadfastly refuse to go along with this thinking no matter how
attractive it might seem.
Instead of talking yourself into lapsing you can develop powerful
countering and coping statements. To do this, it may help to invent and
personify an 'enemy' who lives in your mind, and whose only purpose is to
get you to use. The Enemy
(your alter ego) knows you well, and can change form to take advantage of
your weakest moments. Name your enemy (i.e., salesman, gangster, diplomat,
bad cop). When urges come, ask yourself, 'What is she/he telling me now?
How is she/he trying to trick me?
When thoughts are identified:
1. Without debate, ATTACK the enemy with powerful counter statements:
'Nice try, jerk. You can't fool me!' You can be as aggressive or profane
as your nature allows with the Enemy - after all, s/he is trying to screw
up your life.
2. Then quickly FOCUS on some other thoughts, images, or activities which
are consistent with what you want in the long run and inconsistent with
what the Enemy is saying. The Enemy then looses his power and fades away.
Later on, you can submit the Enemy's tricks to an ABC analysis in order to
dispute them. You usually discover irrational themes and patterns to the
thoughts and arguments the Enemy throws at you. While coping statements
alone will often work, it is important not to omit disputing. If your
coping statements aren't working, it is because you don't believe them as
strongly as you believe the Enemy. Through disputing we can develop
powerful coping statements you fully believe for use in the future.
Through actually resisting the Enemy's suggestions, you become
increasingly better at doing it.
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