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So what's all this talk about change?
To get from point A to point B in quitting a compulsive habit can be
easier for some and harder for others. For some just realizing that the
habit has brought on unexpected problems is enough for them to merely stop
doing it any more. These are usually people who have a fairly strong sense
of their own worth and value as an individual and as a human being. They
easily see the long range value of quitting. But
for many it is much more difficult to turn away from a habit that has been
a satisfaction and substitute for something that seems to be missing. And
which gives a sense of relaxation and a feeling of
"completeness".
When that is the case, the road to sobriety is a succession of efforts.
And putting those efforts in a sensible order will greatly enhance its
success. In the book, Changing For Good, James Prochaska outlines six
stages of change. They are as follows:
Pre-contemplation, (What problem? Don't bug me!) In which people don't
want to admit that they have a problem and even avoid any consideration of
the subject. Some people stay in this stage of change for a long time and
often experience growing problems. This difficult stage is often called
"denial".
Contemplation, (I want to change . . but then, I don't) Which is probably
where you are if you have read this far. You may well have mixed emotions
about either quitting or just letting it all hang out and doing nothing
about the problem. Here you at least become aware of your problems,
struggle to understand them and even may think
seriously about solving them.
Preparation, (I know I have to, but how?) Here is where you start to make
decisions. While some people become chronic contemplators and substitute
more and more analysis for action, the successful person will make
decisions and prepare for them. At this stage, your personal outlook will
start to reach more toward your future and less toward your past.
Action, (Now I've got the bull by the horns!) OK, this is where you take
the plunge! But there is no "magic bullet", and
there is no cheap change. At this point you are very much on your own. You
need all the helping relationships you can get and so you let your
commitment be known to others, but you are doing
this just for yourself. Be prepared, you may even get some disapproval of
others, and experience some anxiety and anger. However these things will
be temporary. Just review all the things you have established in your
contemplation and preparation stages and stick to them.
Maintenance, (Gotta stay with it!) This is the great drama of quitting an
addiction. You have considered and planned and decided to change your life
and leave part of it behind with good riddance. But the bugaboo of
temptation and lapse are always present. Therefore this stage needs plans
and goals like all the others, you treat a lapse as just a temporary delay
in forward progress and something that you can learn from. And you have
the anchor of all your well-planned contemplation and preparation to rely
on.
Termination, One day you will be able to look back and feel very good
about your courage and determination in doing these right things in your
life.
Learn about Changing for Good at SMART RecoveryŽ
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