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Guilt
When you have guilt, you reinforce the feelings of being not okay. You
lose your confidence and self-respect. You feel undeserving and you hold
yourself back.
The key to releasing guilt is to recognize that we all go through life
doing the very best we can with the extremely limited skills and awareness
that we have at the time.
Unfortunately, the awareness that we have is seldom enough. As a result we
make mistakes. Sometimes we make big ones.
Making mistakes is part of the human process. This is how we learn. Every
time you make a mistake you learn a little more about life. You then
become wiser and more aware.
Five years from now you will be much wiser than you are today, but the
wisdom you will have five years from now doesn't do you any good today.
This is true because today, you don't have it.
Likewise the wisdom that you have today didn't do you any good back when
you made your mistake. This is true because back then, you didn't know
what you know today. You only knew what you knew.
To see this in your life, go back in time to the moment you made your
mistake. Notice that at the time, you had a very particular state of mind
and a very particular way of seeing life. Notice that you acted totally
consistent with where you were at the moment.
If you knew then what you know today, you could have acted very
differently, but you didn't. Even if you thought you knew better, you
didn't know the consequences like you do today.
So here is the big question: Are you willing to forgive yourself for not
knowing? Are you willing to forgive yourself for not being wiser and more
aware? You might as well. If you look, you did the very best you could
with where you were at the time.
Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being wiser and more aware.
Forgive yourself for acting consistent with your limited awareness and
forgive yourself for the damage that you caused as a result of your not
knowing.
Allow yourself to be human.
Resentment
When you have resentment, a major part of you closes down. You become
bitter and less able to express your love. You lose your aliveness and
your joy for life. You put up walls of protection and you make your life
more difficult.
Letting go of resentment is not for the benefit of the other person.
Letting go of resentment is for you.
When you resent someone, you are saying very forcefully, that the other
person is the problem, the cause and the fault. Not you. You forcefully
blame the other person so you don't have to look at yourself.
If you looked at yourself, you would have to experience all the hurt from
what happened. You would have to feel all the hurt of being not good
enough, not worth loving or some other form of not okay. To avoid this
hurt, you resent.
The first step in releasing resentment is to be willing to feel this hurt.
Look under the resentment and find the hurt. Find the feelings of being
not good enough or not worth loving that you are avoiding. Then be willing
to experience them. Cry if you can. Once you are willing to feel this
hurt, you no longer need the resentment.
Read the sections, Heal Your Hurt and Find And Heal The Inner Issues That
Run Your Life.
The next step is to notice that the person you resent has a very
particular state of mind and a very particular way of seeing life. Notice
that this person has a very limited awareness and acts totally consistent
with his or her limited skills and ability.
Now notice that if this person was wiser and more aware, then he or she
would be able to act very differently, but the person isn't wiser and more
aware. This person only has the limited awareness that he or she has.
Notice that this person is doing the very best he or she can with his or
her very limited ability. Notice how much this person suffers as a result
of his or her limited equipment.
Now ask yourself, Are you willing to forgive this person for not being
wiser and more aware? Are you willing to forgive this person for acting
consistent with his or her limited ability? Are you willing to forgive
this person for the damage that was caused?
Remember that forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Forgiveness is
a choice. Let go of your resentment and get on with your life.
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