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Feelings Versus Thoughts
An important aspect of thinking rationally is to know the difference
between a "feeling" and a "thought". Sound simple?
For many it's not.
Next time someone asks you "how you feel about something", take notice
whether you answer in basically one word. If not, you most likely are
relating what you think.
An example: How do you feel about pollution?
Bet you start to say something like "it is devastating our planet"... but
now that is a thought or belief, not a feeling. To relate a feeling about
that question would be to answer, "I feel worried" or "I feel angry".
The contrary can be true also where one gives a feeling when asked what
they think.
So to "beef up" your ABC's and other rational thinking ... Practice
differentiating between Thoughts and Feelings!
A Common Misconception
In my experience of conveying the principals of REBT and SMART, I have
repeatedly come across the argument "That we are trying to eliminate
emotional responses to situations...That Emotions are a "Bad" thing."
Quite the Contrary!!!
The first effort I took was to get COMPLETELY in touch with my emotions.
It was important for me to have a complete and clear appreciation for what
I WAS feeling and differentiate between what was a Thought and what was a
Feeling. The quote "negative" emotions are the "Warning Signs" that the
mind/body gives to alert to problems in life, real or imagined. By tuning
my awareness to these IMPORTANT emotional alerts, I became more in tune
with My reality.
In doing this I discovered that I was actually limited in my emotional
responses to situations. By rational perspective of situational events and
a broader selection of emotions, I am able to experience the APROPRIATE
emotion for a given situation.
To some the initial "feel" is that emotions were eliminated. Before, the
emotions were few but INTENSE. After, they are less intense, varied and
appropriate. Therefore, it may "seem" like emotions are eliminated by
comparison. There are few things in life that DEMAND an INTENSE emotional
reaction. These efforts in no way eliminated emotions. I have, in fact,
Broadened and Enhanced my emotional repertoire.
Something to Think About
For many, addiction in whatever form it takes, is a matter of Coping. One
of the coping difficulties may be centered on emotions. In the process of
"getting to know" your feelings, the developing coping skill is put to the
test. This is inevitable. The two go hand-in-hand. We find ourselves
actively pursuing the very thing that for years we have been addictively
avoiding. Anticipate that it "Just Might" be uncomfortable at times.
Remember, have patience, persevere but don't push. Each day, each month,
will provide ample opportunity to Grow. Take reward in each step taken.
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