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Doing the dishes
…or procrastinating about it
Some people who procrastinate resist doing the dishes because whenever
they look at them, they just don't "feel" like doing them. The dishes pile
up in the sink and become an unsightly and unsanitary mess. This is quite
a classic case of procrastination. Many of us have had this problem or
know someone who has. At any rate let us use it as an example of how
something can be changed for the better, and for illustration let's say
it's a Smart Recovery® member like you.
The first thing to happen is to recognize that there is a problem because
sometimes we get so used to things like this that we conveniently avoid
thinking about them. But one day it really bugs you when the chore has
been particularly nasty, or maybe if you were embarrassed when a visitor
came in and saw the condition. That exasperation could spark a desire to
do something about it.
But there's a problem here because a bad habit has been established and
for you dishwashing has been dominated by not feeling like doing them. So
at this point some very good advice would be to stop and think about it
seriously and decide what you really want. You will have to weigh the pros
and cons, probably even write them down and compare the reasons you don't
like doing the dishes with what you don't like about always having the
mess. That necessary exercise will often clarify a person's thinking and
help induce motivation to change.
Now it's important to formulate a practical plan to end this
procrastination. The next advice would be to pick a time again when there
are not too many dishes, (ones you usually would feel like leaving in the
sink) and force yourself to act differently than you feel and just get to
work and clean them up. It's going to seem a little strange. But you will
realize that the job was much easier than usual. The food was not caked on
the dishes, there weren't so many of them, and the job got done pretty
fast. Kinda rewarding.
However, unfortunately the problem is not all solved. The old habits are
likely to
come back and you find the dishes piling up again. But you have broken a
cycle and have started down a new path. And most importantly you have done
this as a conscious effort of self-control. So what comes next?
Following more good advice and some encouragement, once again you choose a
time and force yourself to do the dishes even though you don't feel like
doing them. Maybe it takes a few days for you to get around to it. But
here's the secret. You will find that this time it becomes a little bit
easier to get yourself to do them. And once again you get the pleasure of
seeing the kitchen look nice without going through a major cleanup. While
doing this you would do well to think about your actions and reaffirm in
principle that it is better all around to have the dishes washed up soon
after they are used.
As you keep doing this from time to time, you enjoy the job being easier
and the kitchen looking nice more often. This result strengthens your
resolve. And once again, here's the secret. As you consciously keep
working away at this and more often do the dishes promptly, it gets easier
and easier to get yourself to do them. And there comes a time when it just
feels as good to do them as to let them go. There will still be times when
you get lazy and let them pile up, but even then you will do them much
sooner than you used to. Know what you have done? You have broken a habit
and finally there may well come a time when you just can't stand it to let
the dishes ever pile up and be a disagreeable problem again.
This has been a conscious choice to use your intelligent mind to take back
control of an undesired habit. You have demonstrated a lot of courage!
Congratulations. And especially remember that to consciously effect
change, at first you have to force yourself to act differently than you
feel.
Many attempts at change fail because people hope to leap directly from the
good intention to the final conclusion. But here we have a pattern of
tackling change in logical stages. First recognizing that there is a
problem and weighing the reasons for changing
(or not) and deciding. Then making conscious plans and preparation and at
first forcing yourself to practice an alternative behavior. Next through
repetition, establishing the new behavior with planned interim rewards and
getting used to the desired results. In all stages being prepared for
lapses and recognizing them as such, learning from them and quickly
reaffirming the preferred behavior. And finally achieving a clear change
in your lifestyle and in emotional growth.
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